i'm the mom i'm the mom i'm the mom mom mom

I've just received this video by email from Karenji. It'll make you laugh, I promise. Go on, I know you wanna and besides, no Rufus in site!

Are you having a good weekend? I know I am! The Ratburn and I had date night last night, so we headed to the local hole in the wall bar and lo and behold, what did we find? A Sublime cover band called Johnny Butt and the .......um, I forget that part, but anyway, much whiskeyfun was had by all. What a cool band, lots and lots of dancing, and then, at break time they instructed the crowd to retire to the back patio for....um, they needed to take out the trash, G~man...OY!

Anyway, enjoy the video, I'm sure you will!

55Flash Fiction Friday

"...Sacre bleu, Sophie! Regard le Pierre avec zat green bow tie and spongey beret! Zat man, he knows nothing about fashion!"

"But madam, you are wearing also a green bow tie!"
"Oui, c'est vrai, but zee correct green of the season, and zat, ma petite, is zee secret to being tres chic, toujours!"

"Vraiment....vraiment...."

I don't speak proper French, obviously, snort! just messing around. Of course, Sophie and Brigitte are talking about that naughty Pierre down there in my HNT...

Ok, so I made it to 55 this week at 11:30 pm, whew! Let me know if you played, and hopefully the posse will come. If you want to know more about 55, click that cool sidebar button over there that Barman made for us!

Have a great weekend, everyone!
zee stylish shade of green of course

J'ai Oublier HNT

Boy was I surprised to find an HNT on Limes blog this fine Wednesday morning..then I thought, ok, maybe she's going out of town. What? It's Thursday you say? But what happened to Wednesday?

Merde!
Ok ok, so I admit it, somehow I lost an entire day here. You know, sometimes working at home can get you pretty off track from the normal world. Thankfully I have you guys to keep my clock straight.

I guess from now on I'd better wear a string on my finger to remind me of HNT......I chose lime ribbon for my reminder because Lime set me straight on the date! Thanks, Lime!

Happy HNT Everyone!

Planchar

Sometimes you have to rely on your friends to find you stuff to post:

As a person who spends wayy too much time with an iron and the board, I can so relate!

Musical Monday

Nice legs, T.
Oh really? It is? Tuesday? Oh....
Today I become an official volleyball mom...no minivan. In fact, I dont even know how to play volleyball. I was always that kid left on the bench. (unless we're talking about ballet, then well, lace em on and get over here and pirouette with me!)
I hated PE....sigh....

Ok so I just had to share this Rufus video with you because it's such a fun one, only I cannot embed the video here so just follow the link. The song is called APRIL FOOLS, and in it we have Rufus romping through the streets of Silverlake with five opera divas. Rufus is quite the opera diva himself, in fact. Thank you Logo for helping me figure out who they were. Watch the video and see if you can identify all five. Ok I know you're tired of Rufus, but this one is too much fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5InMvddwyk

PS Oh! Almost forgot....Gewn Stefani and Melissa Auf der Maur also have cameos in this video...see if you can find them. (I needed help with that too, Rufus is so distracting.)

And for those of you that like it harder, louder, faster, weirder.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bvbMPk0hyc

Wow!

What's New, Pussycat?

That'll have to do for musical monday, I just couldn't get it together...maybe later.....

55Flash Fiction Friday

MUFFIN

Warm steamy

Soft comfort food

Full round and abundant

Delectable plump ripe berry
Golden brown delciousness overflows

Soft above, held together below

By that little zigzaggy paper cup

Too tight waistband squeezing

Velvety pot belly lusciousness

Warm softness overflowing

Young lady dont leave the house if

You are wearing those jeans

with that
TOP

LOL dont ask me why, but I have muffin top on my mind a lot lately. That really makes me sound like a pervert, so let me explain myself. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I had never heard of a "muffin top" before, and being the visual person that I am, that perfect metaphor just made me laugh so much that I am still laughing about it. Muffin top? LMAO! Pull up those jeans, girls!

Ok so let me know if you played 55 today and I will send the posse over. Have a fabulous weekend, everyone.

~

~PS Let me know if you have slayed the blogger demons that will not allow me to space that 55 the way I want to, dammit! It is supposed to look like a muffin shape, more or less, but blogger wont space it closer together as it appears in the draft.

No Mom Jeans For Me HNT

Last week I posted that SNL Mom Jeans spoof, and so Lime and I got the idea to do our own jeans post. Now this isn't my first jeans HNT, you can see that one here,

OK, so as most of us know, finding pants off the rack to fit perfectly is quite a challenge. So im gonna model my favorite pair of pants for you right now that actually kind of fit me well, and dont make my butt look fat.

Why am I modeling my favorite pants in a sunflower field? Why not?

Notice how there is ample hip room, thereby avoiding the "muffin top" look that is so charmingly overdone in these sort of pants today.

Notice they are not prefaded, preworn, preripped, pretorn, but they were however prewashed and preshrunk, thank you very much!

You know what else? They have a 2" zipper, Lime! I'm not showing that part because Mr Ratburn said it wouldn't be polite.

Oh what? You say they are not jeans at all? Yeah, I know. This year, the fashion industry has slowed up on the ripped and faded and have gone all out with the skinny jeans, meaning unless your thighs measure less than 12", these jeans are not going to fit you, mom!

Perhaps I'll get a new pair of jeans next year....

Oh! I almost forgot to mention, thanks, Logo for the NO VPL action!
Happy HNT, Everyone!

How'd they know I needed this link?

10 Tips for the Greatest Grilled Cheese.
http://food.yahoo.com/blog/editorspicks/2430/10-tips-for-the-greatest-grilled-cheese



Hey does anyone remember that Galloping Gourmet guy? He was always sloshed and never burnt a grilled cheese....

And Now For Something Totally Different....

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend. I've been sewing my ass off, erm, for the most part, anyway...giggle giggle....and I have spent the weekend emailing and otherwise contacting hotels and stuff in India for my upcoming trip in December. This is where I announce, for those of you that do not already know, whereas it is rapidly approaching the year of the 20th wedding anniversary of MR and MRS Ratburn, that in celebration, the Rat shall be accompanying me to India this year.
In other news I was one of the few priveleged parents invited to chaperone Little Ritas 6th grade class dance on Friday night. So you know, I had to be sure to wear something not too crazy or hippie like, and of course, NO dancing, mom, just watch us. Ok LR, got it, no dancing. For those of you that have never had an 11 year old, to be invited to actually appear in public with them, let alone at a social function, is quite the big deal. I really did feel honored!


For Musical Monday I have NOT chosen a Rufus! You're gonna have to watch it to find out what it is. I guess it has to be a pretty good choice if'n i'm skippin' Rufus, right?
When I was a little kid in that fish smellin' place I mentioned last week, my parents were quite the partiers and they had friends with a band. I seem to remember an awful lot of partying at the cabin that belonged to all these young sailors, and so tonight I chose a song that I always think of when I remember those days, because my parents buddys band played it a lot......I hope you will enjoy it.
Yes Im making you watch it to find out what it is.
Not Rufus I promise.

She'll love the 9" zipper and casual front pleats....

55 Flash is down there, but in the meanwhile, I just HAD to post this......I know you've all probably seen it before....but it just cracks me the hell up!
ENJOY!

55Flash Fiction Friday

He held her hands and looked into those eyes as candle light played off her glowing skin, no denying that tonight sparks would lead to something very special indeed.
Just then, the approaching waiter tripped over her crossed legs and stilletto, which dangled from her toe, sending showers of spaghetti and meatballs onto their smoldering laps.

**OK OK, so maybe "smoldering laps" doesn't quite work, but it would be a great name for a rock band, wouldn't it?
Sewzy and the Smoldering Laps!!

If you recognize this 55, you are right, it's recycled. But since there are a lot of new bloggers doing 55 right now, it's new to them, right? Might take me the entire gosh darned weekend, but I'll get over to read those 55's, I promise!

Back In The Day HNT

Mr Ratburn has open house tonight at his school, so I knew we wouldn't be able to take pictures before HNT. What to do? What to do? Times like this, it's good to break out the scanner and some old photo albums.

This is the young Mr Ratburn before he was a teacher, before I knew him even. See, by the time I met him, he was way over the "look how cool I am with a pretzel in my nose" look. I'm guessing this picture was taken about 1980.

Flash forward to 1986. Now, at this point, the Ratburn and I had been friends for 3 or 4 years now...that's right, I said friends. That is, until the night before this picture was taken anyway....don't I just have that look of a hippie gal thats been romping in a tent all night?

That's Mr Ratburn at Crater Lake, Oregon....in 1987....we were on our way to Alaska. What else did two hippie kids with a $300. a month rent have to do but drive to Alaska anyway? And, by the way, wouldja lookit all that hair!

Here I am in Kodiak, Alaska, so happy that our fucking hippie van only needed head gaskets in British Columbia, lol, so bloody happy that we finally made it! What some of you don't know is that I lived on Kodiak Island for three years when I was in elementary school. It was fun to go back and see that yes, it was true, I really did live in a fish smellin village in the middle of the gulf of Alaska for three massively snowing and bloody fish smellin years!
~

So there ya have it. A little look at the 1980s versions of me and Ratburn.

Happy HNT Everyone! OH! A sports theme? I do NOT think so....sorry, OS. I'm built for comfort, not for speed.

Safe For Now, But For How Long?

Psstt! Down here!

Is it safe to come out? We've been hiding for three days, and so far, none of us have been sacrificed. Why, I'd rather end up as garage sale fodder again than be left in this house. Scaredy cat?
Are you kidding me? Have you seen what they do to toys around this place? A doll like me doesn't stand a chance. So, if you see Susie or Little Rita around, don't tell them where we are.
Does anyone want to adopt a helpless little troll?

Yowza!

On second thought, maybe I oughta stick around a bit, whaddya say, girls?

Wild Mountain Thyme

This weekend I checked out a dvd of "The McGarrigle Hour", with Kate and Anna McGarrigle, Loudon Wainwright, Rufus (etc, etc) and I just loved it. For those of you that don't know, Kate McGarrigle is Rufus Wainwrights mother, who for a short time was married to Loudon Wainwright. Anyway, I went looking for a couple of songs to post that I had heard from that McGarrigle Hour thing...didn't really find them, but I did find this, and I think it's pretty special.
Rufus also makes a guest appearance in this performance, and I think he's only about 21....if!
BTW I also found a terrible old Canadian film this weekend that had Rufus performing a song in it. He was only about 13 years old....its was so cool! I could see he had already worked out that scowl of his....not at all worth checking out, BTW, unless you are a Rufus fan...Tommy Trickster and the Stamp Traveler.

I hope you will enjoy this very special video. I know I am.

Wild Mountain Thyme

with Dick Gaughan, Emmylou Harris, Kate and Anna McGarrigle and Rufus Wainwright

Have a lovely Monday!

Hands of Time

Hey! Isn't this such a cool picture that Karenji made of my henna hands? I just love it! Have a great weekend, everyone, I will be working.

55Flash Fiction Friday

Im a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world....

Everybody has a bad night, everyone gets on a losing streak, but tonight Barbie had sunk to a new low. Even her mug shot was terrible.

Ralph dusted off "old sparky", and adjusted the contact points. He'd been waiting for this day ever since he had to play dolls with his sister in 6th grade... *

Fry Barbie, Fry!!
If you wanna know more about Flash Fiction, click the 55 button on my sidebar. Let me know if you played today so I can send the posse over! Have a lovely weekend everyone!

*If you wanna learn how to make your own Barbie electric chair, go here:

http://www.instructables.com/id/SOM1PKSF5R8QR1L/

Pilfered Paper Hospital GownsSarongs HNT

Today I had a Dr. appointment, so while I was in there waiting, and waiting, and waiting in my lovely paper gown, I wished that I had had my camera for a fun HNT shot! Darn it, now what was I going to do for HNT tonight?

Then I remembered the drawer where the nurse had gotten the fancy paper garments, snatched em home, and a little photoshopping later, and voila!

Playing Doctors with you is so much fun, Mr Ratburn!

See Marcel, it sorta looks like a sarong!

Happy HNT, Everyone!

This Twinkie's For You, Kiddo.....

Drunken Twinkie Post 11 pm This picture makes me laugh my head off, I don't know why. Ok, I do, but I'm not tellin.

Twinkies sorta remind me of muffins which reminds me of this:

http://www.dhadm.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1449

Have a lovely day, bloggy peeps.

Tuesdays Childs.... House Is A Fucking Mess!

I got nothing...

Except this...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5gDG_vSvko

PHWOARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He Believes In Beauty & Who's Afraid Of Askinstoo?

Well, well, would you look at that? WDKY's gone and fussed with his legs! Looking good, sir, sorta reminds me of Pepto a little tho.....Now, it's Musical Monday, but, I also have to leave this word veri complaint up because you know, this is a problem, so I'm doing both.
I hadn't picked out a tune for today...but when I headed over to WDKY's today, I discovered Bjork! You know I like that gal, so I thought, why not post a Bjork tune today as well?
I have already posted a video of Bjork frying and burning her eggs while singing Venus As A Boy..(remember that?)..and this is a live version of same song... I just love it! Then, I chose Isobel, another Bjork tune, because someone requested it. Bjork looks like she's about 15 in this video!
What a little Sugar Cube!

Venus As A Boy (live)

Isobel

So there ya have it, as we used to say in Trivia Madness, Bjork, the other white meat.
~

I hate word veri!
If I added up all the seconds used typing word veri, getting it wrong, retyping, commenting, passwords, etc....
Really I have had just about enough, people! Why are you all so afraid of askinstoo anyway?

If I didn't have to suffer through word verification, I might actually make some blogs today.....just sayin...

Dont Work Too Hard Now!

Ah, Labor Day......I have to work so much this weekend! LOL I think I can handle it as long as it doesn't make it up to the scorching temps predicted. I hope you all have a relaxing wonderful time with your families.
Mike has written the coolest Labor Day 55, so I have linked it if you wanna go over and see it.
http://mhkilgore.blogspot.com/

Have a Wonderful Weekend!