Wednesday---Joke day!

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

A:One! ONLY ONE!!!!
And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!

I'm sorry.... What was the question?

(PS This blogger is NOT having menopause yet!)


Subject: Request for a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge headfirst into everything I do
I do not get weekends or holidays off
I work in a damp environment,
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

The Penis


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work eight hours straight
You fall asleep after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
You do not take initiative
You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You will retire well before you are 65
You are unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task
and if that is not enough,
You are constantly seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,
The Management