8 Deep Dark Secrets Divulged or: Kid Krimes Revealed

Beware! Dangerous criminal on horseback ahead!

Here's a ME ME that's been floating around blogland. I sorta opened my big mouth and volunteered to do this list for Art. Ok I think I can do this 8 scandalous things if I leave out the years between 21 and now! LOL

Now that's me up there on the big horse. Don't let me kid ya, I actually had a little brown pony, not at all unlike the white one my sister has back there...except, uh, brown, yeah...

I started out early with seedy behavior:

1. On my very first day of school, in K, I decided that I didn't like where I was sitting, because a little girl at the other table had a fuzzy stuffed monkey I just had to check out! I quickly switched seats, got caught, and was deprived snack. These days, that teacher would be in a lot of trouble for withholding the grahams!

2. In the 3rd grade, I snuck into the boys bathroom at school to investigate, of course, and got caught by the janitor. "Get back to class young lady, you do NOT belong in there!", this giant of a man scolded.
I am still not over the shock of seeing a urinal for the first time! This scarred my fragile eggshell psyche so badly that I dreamed I was sent to the principal's office for this shenanigan. Future angst was evident, when in the 80's, I again played out this horror in a comic strip. Clearly, my most scarring dark secret! (IF you ask nicely, I will even dig out the comic strip and scan it!)

3. In 5th grade, my sister and I took a little paper route to make some money. It was hard work, and the pay was terrible. Didn't take long to figure out that we could just toss the papers into our trashcans on the side of the house, and just pretend we delivered. Oh yeah, that worked swell, for two days, until my father took the trashcans out to the curb....he made us confess, pay for the papers, and apologize....how yewmiliatin'!

4. In 6th grade, I started hanging out with some seedy little girls, and we thought it was cool to snitch licorice and stuff from the local convenience store. I got caught, of course, and was told to never come back into that store again! Later, my more craftier friends rolled in the grass in guffaws, enjoying their stolen loot, while I confessed to having been caught in my first attempt at thievery! My career of crime had just begun....

5. In junior high, things really got bad. I had this drunken neighbor who had a chilled KEG of beer at all times in a fridge in her garage.....so while she was at my house, shooting the breeze with my mom and the other neighbor ladies, we'd sneak in with our large plastic tumblers, and fill up on beer. While we were at it, we'd help ourselves to her huge stash of Marlboro's too! Then we'd head for the horse pasture out back, and smoke and drink til we puked, which by the way, didn't take much for a 75 pound 8th grader! Oh what fun!

Here I am as a shifty 15 year old! Surf's up, dude!

6. Hmnn, Hell School....why, I do believe I was a downright angel for the most part. That is, if you don't count ditchin'! Now, very often, this little Southern California beach baby actually thought she could get away with a day of fun and sun at the beach instead of attending high school!
Did I actually think my mom wouldn't notice the bleached out hair, reddened cheeks, coconut smell, and, uh, sand all over my feet....Hello????? Take a look at that pic up there....where do you think I spent more time? School or the beach?


7. I managed to make it through college by NOT writing any research papers, because I traded my most excellent award winning high school essay on Cybernetics, complete with visuals, with another student. Hers was on witchcraft! We of course both got A's! Then we set up this secretly elaborate paper trading system with a bunch of other......OMG....this one is really bad, should I delete it?
Hey, I was an art major......I don't need no stinkin' term papers........


8. I slept with one of my college profs, then got a B in his class! Hey! I was only 19, what did I know about "A-getting techniques"?

OK WHOA! I think I'll stop right there........

Oooh, smooth! Notice how I managed to skip by most of my adulthood entirely? :D Heh! Well, that's because you don't even wanna know why i'm climbing over this fence in a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and a hippie skirt...........

...or what I was doing 5 minutes before this picture was taken.........

And don't even ask me what this face is all about!

Ok I challenge my best girls, Logo, Snav's and Lime to belly up to the sin bar and divulge 8 secrets. I'll be hiding out until the heat from this post blows ovah!