Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Born To Be Vild, madam!


Woo hoo, yes it is me with the crazy ratty hair and broken glasses here! I have just gotten off of a crazy motorcycle ride afterall. Now, in Bangalore it is at last and "thanks god", "compulsory", for the driver of a motorcycle to wear a helmet, but not the passenger. Hello? Is this because passengers have harder heads? So yeah, I was just a little nervous when Mir nearly squeezed us between two busses, and maybe a little more nervous when we darted diagonally across many lanes of congested traffic, but still it was fun. Oh, did I mention that I had a 16 kg bundle squeezed between myself and Mir? A package so large that I was afraid I was going to fall off the back, and my chin had to rest on the top of the package!
It just took us 2 post offices, and 4 hours to handle this matter! Now as you know, in the USA, you go to the post office, get in one line and are waited on one at a time, no matter why you are there. In India, there are no lines, no signs, no window designations that one can clearly see, and every one just squeezes to the front of the line regardless of how long you have been standing there. So, at the first post office we were told the fee to ship, given the forms, and weighed the package. After 20 minutes we were told they could not accept cash or credit cards at this time of day! So Mir got really pissed off with the post office lady and I ended up kissing her ass to save us! Then we had to get on the bike again and find the other post office on Museum Road which would take our package and cash. Well, finding that post office took nearly a half hour but it was really thrilling being on the back of a motorcycle WITHOUT a helmet, eeeeeek, in only sandals. I really had to visualize a safe bubble. Thats how I do it. A bubble...a big pink bubblegum bubble I am in and noone can pop it!
So we get to second post office and are told that we have to wait til 4pm, please sit down. So we sit down and in the meanwhile the counter is flooded with people that will NOT wait til 4 pm, so that put us, the first ones to arrive, behind all of them. Ok now this is funny. In India you have to sew your package into fabric because by the time a cardboard box reaches you in the USA, it is as flat as a dosa! That's pancake for you non Indians. :P SO then they give us these labels to stick on and a little pot of glue! OMG I was laughing my ass off about that glue. So, there is Mir, behind the counter, using his fingers to glue a label on the fabric package, and they also made him write everything that was on the label on the package as well, in case the label falls off, madam.
God, I just wanted to fall on the ground laughing at these people. Finally, we got this damn package mailed and in it, 60 awesome kashmiri shawls! Line up, ladies for first pick. I will be home next Tuesday and it's first come, first served! I am sure the package will get there before me, but if not, shortly after. Oh, in case you are wondering....$155.00 USD to ship 15 kgs to my house in 6-10 days, approx half of what it costs for DHL or FedEX but obviously taking up a lot more time.
In the meanwhile, I also have 60-70 kgs of textiles working on being shipped but not by the post office. I am just going to suck it up and pay DHL prices. It will save me days of work it looks like.
Now Mr Ian, I noticed you said it's ok for me to bash Southern Brits! That would be Londoners, naah? So no scouser bashing, ok sir! Look, Mr Ian, I am just pointing out that in Goa, these people retire there, drink gallons of beer all day long, tan their hides to the consistency of leather, lying on the beach ALL DAY LONG, drink themselves silly every night, then come home barf their brains out and do it again the next day. What fun! And to top it off, they think they own the place. And to top it off, the are MEAN to sweet happy gals like me. I would call that a whole bunch of sour grapes. I wouldn't call that Brit bashing, its just the facts, sir. Anyway, I am done with Goa, next year I am going to Kerala.
So I have gotten a ring for my boyfriend, Mr Ratburn! Now I can make an honest man out of him.
Lets see, what else. Tonight i am invited to dinner at Mirs house, so that will mean more hair raising motorcycle journeys through Bangalore City at night. Gulp, erm, and wheee! at the same time.
Now, yesterday I spent $1,000. on fabrics and boy was that fun. I am already excited and inspired about what I will make when I get back. I save my $$ all year and then come here and spend it all. It is so exciting I cant tell you. I lost track of how many meters I have bought, but I will tell you this, $1,000 buys a lot of kalamkari, madam! I ran out last year, so hopefully I will have enough to last the year out this time.
OK so what else, Keri is coming tomorrow night from Goa, and I think Bangalore will blow her mind. I cant wait to hear about her adventures in Goa without me, and show her my favorite places in Bangalore. Hopefully I will have this massive shipping of textiles out of the way before she gets here.
I am in my favorite room in my favorite hotel in my favorite city in India. What could be better than that? Also, I have slimmed down enough that my pants are falling completely off, and this is a good thing. I was getting rather portly. Good thing I have brought a belt this year.
It is 6 pm om Tuesday night, rush hour, and horns are blaring mightily out there. Bangalore is the honkingest city in the world!
I hope you are all well. I really am about ready to come home, but as soon as I get this shipping done, I will be free to do some fun stuff like take Keri out for beers at Pecos, go to Lal Bagh Botanical Gardens, and MTR, that place where you get 12 courses for 2.00 betas!
Be well! Love you all and thanks for traveling along with me.


3 comments:

Fortress Guinness said...

what a great post suse...looks like you're having a blast in B'lore like i knew you would...!!!
can i make a reservation on one of those shawls here right now...??? for Jan, of course...!!! ;) have a great time tonight at Mir's place and points taken re drunken dickhead Brits...i know baby, boy do i know lol...;) take care, speak soon xxx

Jeanne said...

Hey Sis, Now it sounds like you are having fun, to bad you couldn't get video of your crazy ride. Mr toads wild ride.... I s it hard to go to peoples homes and eat dinner with them or is it the best food you have eaten there , so you have to go ? Sounds like you have gotten lots of cool stuff, to bad it costs so much to send home, but I am sure the airport would cost way more...I love your post office story, too bad the people in our post offices don't see that, then they would know how lucky they are. Why don't they have lines, aren't they organized? Well I guess not , since they seem to drive like maniacs too......Love you lots

RennyBA's Terella said...

Baby you can drive my bike too as I know you where born to be Vild - and I love it!

Happy to be able to travel along with you too :-)