Monday, May 22, 2006

Black Market Leftorium™

Identity UPDATE: WhadidItellya, ya knuckle head? If it says it's Lefty, then it's Lefty! Now get outa here before I make ya part of my new cement patio. That ain't Kermit, sheesh!





Yo pal, c'mere...I got some more stuff for ya. I've been diggin' around and you ain't gonna believe what I found. That's right, more amazin' left handed stuff for you, Lefty LaRue!
What I have here today are two very fine left handed watches. The one on the right, a vintage Marina Militaire. Quite the bargain at a mere $399.95. Hey! Do you have any idea what I had to do to convince Vinnie to hand it over before he tossed the body into the lake? Trust me, it's worth every dime!
The one on the left, pretty fancy aint it? It's a steal ( ahem!) at 250 bucks.
Too fancy? I got some plain left handed watches I can let ya have for a mere $49.95. That is such a steal, I can't even show em to ya here. Let me know if yer interested, I'll meet ya out back in the alley.
Hey mac, before ya go, get a load of these two left handed kitchen utensils. Don't ever let a righty tell ya that it don't matter which hand ya use the peeler in. I'm tellin ya it does. You got a problem wit that?
No more scraped knuckles either, Lefty! I'm tellin ya, you need this!
Would ya lookit that can opener, folks. The windy gizmo is on the left side, where it oughta be for folks like you n' me.
These two handy items are imported from the UK, so they are gonna cost ya $10 smackeroos a piece. Got that, wise guy?

Now get outa here.....I gotta see a man about some concrete overshoes.

13 comments:

Logophile said...

I'll take one of each, just take it out of my winnings on that horse race from yesterday,
thanks, you da best!

Minka said...

Very interesting stuff. Good luck with the shoes!

S said...

Yo, Lefty, I got yer stuff, meet ya in the alley at midnight.

Grimstarr said...

ROFLMAO. Susie. Sorry but they would be worthless to me. Now if you had a dark sedan with bulletproof and tinted windows hanging around ...
TG

Perdante said...

STUFF?! Let me go with!!

WDKY said...

What about pens? Got any left-handed pens?

(What do I care? I'm not even left handed!)

lime said...

the can opener i can really appreciate. i got one for my lefty MIL. that wasworth some serious brownie points for at least 5 minutes

Stephanie said...

My nana would love the lefty potato peeler.

Silly!

Gary said...

I have a really good left handed hammer, but I'm having a really hard time finding left handed nails to use with it. :)

Perdante said...

*cough* mobster. I WILL not buy from you!

AndyT13 said...

I'm mostly ambidextrous. I favor my right side slightly but I can do just about everything either side. Write, play guitar or drums, fight, etc... My handwriting is pretty illegible no matter which hand I write with but whatever. I can also write mirrorred with both hands at once. My right hand writes normally and my left hand writes the same exactly thing but backwards. Weird, no? THanks again for buying my CD Susie. You rock!

The Persian said...

I just tried and couldn't find a photo of Lefty the salesman either. That one is of Kermit, lefty had a moustache I think.

Hm....

S said...

LOL Persian Guy, that is NOT Kermit...you need to watch Sesame Street more often....gonna post something for you....