55Flash Fiction Friday

Welcome to 55 ......here's mine, and please, give it a go! It's fun. All you need is at least one main character and a plot, in 55 words......find a picture to go with it if you want, or find the picture first, then write the story......we don't care if it's lame, we just want you to play with us!




For what felt like the millionth time, Shaku knelt before husband and set the tea tray on the table. Eyes lowered, she served him the plate of sweets. "Mysore Pak!", he squealed delightedly, and while he was completely distracted by this luscious treat, Shaku slipped the poison powder from her saree and into husbands chai.

Just being lazy!






Bass Lake, Ca June 2006

Mr Ratburn is being lazy too!

The Idiot's and Barefoot's Tropical Top Five and something just for Lime.....

Well, just when we need him the most, on Wednesday, the Idiot has gone AWOL. He was last seen bunny hopping down the steps at Pikes Place. But hey, that's ok, the Idiot has been working awfully hard lately...and as we all know, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Todays topic is not about work at all, no no no! Inspired by yesterdays Tori post, our topic today is Masturbation Songs. Giggle, giggle.....

Here's our list. Of course, other than the Tori song, I had to get the rest from the Idiot. Oh, and thanks to Mr Ratburn for explaining to me what this "turning Japanese" thing is all about!



Icicle Tori Amos
Caress me Down Sublime
Blister In The Sun Violent Femmes
Turning Japanese The Vapors
Relax Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Have fun making your own list!


Now, over at House of Lime, you can get free fitted sheet folding lessons today! Isn't that cool? In honor of her post, I present to you a drawing I did about 15 years ago......






No stealing allowed! This is MINE and copyrighted! If you would like to have this image on a tshirt, please let me know......they are available.....

Well, I think the good book is missing some pages.....

In the words of my best pal, Ian, PHWOARRRR!!!!

Ok you guys, I am all quizzed out...I have two more prizes and I'm giving one to Lime for effort, evil and otherwise, Snavs because I love her and she's a Tori convert....and Aerik, hows come you haven't claimed your prize yet, oh humble Tori expert? Hmnnnn??

I loaded up this Tori pic and then began to wonder what Tori thingy to write about today, and the song Icicle popped into my head. Maybe it's the blue of the lighting back there... I don't know...but today we talk about one of everybodys favorite subjects......


Icicle

icicle icicle where are you going
i have a hiding place when spring marches in
will you keep watch for me
i hear them calling
gonna lay down
gonna lay down
greeting the monster in our easter dresses
father says bow your head like the good book says
well i think the good book is missing some pages
gonna lay down
gonna lay down
and when my hand touches myself
i can finally rest my head
and when they say 'take of his body'
i think i'll take from mine instead
getting off getting off
while they're all downstairs
singing prayers sing away
he's in my pumpkin p.j.'s
lay your book on my chest
feel the word
feel the word
feel the word
feel it
i could have
i should have
i could have flown
you know
i could have
i should have
i didn't so


"In Icicle I try to win back the innocence of my childhood. That girl that masturbates to survive, the vulnerable, innocent flower, has always done good things for us. She's had to fence off certain parts of herself to get ahead. Now it's time to light the candle and melt those parts. Who dares to open him- or herself can also forgive themselves for not having stood up for themselves enough."
"Sakura sakura yayoi no sora wa miwatasu kagiri. I dreamed things were frozen in ice songs and other dreams and the ice can carry secret messages that warm a little girl's heart."-- Tori; Under The Pink SongbookThe UK Past The Mission (Part 1) single contains a live version of Icicle, recorded in Los Angeles, CA on March 22, 1994.

Have a lovely Tuesday, everyone!

Vacation, had to get away..........................

Ahhh! Layin' around doin' nothin'.......gotta love it!



LOL I took about 20 shots before I got them all in the air at same time!



Oh man, what a fun weekend... I've been pummeled, pushed, tugged, dunked, splashed, soaked,
ganged up on by three kids...oy!



But it was fun! Wheeeeeeeeeee, look at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

55Flash Fiction Friday

I am outa here for the weekend........my good pal Logo said she would host 55 this week for me so I could slack off. When she asked me what exactly was required of her, I said "Nothing!" so she said she'd take the job! That's what I like to see, real ambition!
Go on over and give her 55!

Hey that was pretty close to 55 words......
Have a good weekend everyone!

By now most of you have figured out the hippie thing about me...yeah, yeah, I met Mr Ratburn at a Dead show, the rumours are true! Anyway for this weeks HNT, I present myself, and my very good pal (insert fake name), in:

Wow man! We took too much!

Laguna Seca, Grateful Dead 1987

"Wow Suse, Bruce Hornsby sounds really fabulous right now, don't you think? What a perfect day! Everything sounds so crystal clear and bright, and I feel fabulous! I can't wait for the boys to come onstage!"

"Uh yeah, me too..............hey, these balloons are really pretty, girlfriend!"



"Help me, Suse, I don't feel so good..."

"Whoa girlfriend!! ! What the hell happened? You're really, really, reeaalllllyyyy small! Hey man, I gotta lay off the balloons! "


School is out and Mr Ratburn is chillin over at his blog.....

Whatever you're up to, make it special! HHNT, friends!

Just like the sun over the mountain top, you know I'll always come again...

Not my typical goofy shit.....
Thoughts on Elite Hotel and Dean

I've had this Emmylou Harris LP since Fall of 1978. At that exact same time in my life, I met my best friend, Dean. The album and Dean was a package deal. Love me, love my Elite Hotel.
We were both in art department, at the JC. We were total fuck off pot heads. We had a lot of fun, and made a lot of really bad art.
LOL, I used to drive up to his house every day, and before I even rounded the corner and parked in front, I could hear him singing, no, wailing, at the top of his lungs, some Emmylou, Bonnie Raitt, or Jackson Browne tune!
Of course, then I'd have come in and join him. I swear the neighborhood must've all had earplugs, because noone ever complained about the noise.
Dean was my best friend, and he held me up through the most painful times of my life. He was there for me always.
And how lucky I was when he and Mr Ratburn hit it off right from the start! The three of us had some great times together, saw some fabulous music, and made some really great art!
Before we knew it, 15 years had passed, and we were still friends. The music was always along for the ride as well. What fun we had in all those years!
In 1995, Dean passed away from complications of AIDS. He would have been 46 this year. I miss him terribly. 35 years is such a short life......
But you know, the strangest thing happened the other day when I put Elite Hotel on....all those memories of Dean came rushing back to me, and, at first, it was a happy thing, remembering... and then, I just lost it in the middle of washing the fucking dishes listening to this song performed by the lovely Emmylou, Till I Gain Control Again, one of Dean's favorites.
Sheeesssssshh, I had the hugest cry...standing there scrubbing the teflon off of that poor little saucepan, missing Dean, and then you know what?
I looked out the window and the sun was setting, behind the trees, and, the sun was making this beautiful huge sparkly starlight thing throught the trees! .....wow.....and I knew that I was getting a visit from a very special spirit.
You know what else...another funny thing about Dean. One night, after hours, after gay bar danceathon, circa 1979...Dean and I were in some fast food joint in Hollywood. We were drinking very large cokes. Dean always had to have the lid off his coke so he could take a bit of ice and a bit of coke and chew it up! Crunch crunch crunch!....ok, so im sitting there, enjoying my post- shake-my-booty-all-night-coke, when I notice Dean has this evil, evil smile on his face...and suddenly he shoves the tray with the extra large coke with ice and NO LID, and the entire coke spills over my lap and drenches me. I was shocked! He laughed his head off, and I swore one day I'd get even with him. I never got the chance, but when I go, I'm bringing with me, an extra large coke with ice, no lid ...and I'm goin' after that guy!


Susie and Dean ~ Spring, 1993

Till I Gain Control Again
by Rodney Crowell

Just like the sun over the mountain top
You know I'll always come again
You know I love to spend my morning time
Like sunlight dancing on your skin

I've never gone so wrong as to telling lies to you
What you've seen is what I've been
There is nothing I could hide from you
You see me better than I can

Out on the road that lies before me now
There are some turns where I will spin
I only hope that you can hold me now
Till I can gain control again

Like a lighthouse you must stand alone
Landmark the sailor's journeys end
No matter what sea I've have been sailing on
I'll always roll this way again

Out on the road that lies before me now
There are some turns where I will spin
I only hope that you can hold me now
Till I can gain control again ...


**Hey, I forgot to pimp The Idiot's and Barefoot's Tropical Top Five over at the Idiots blog. Get on over there, today's topic is a bit of a challenge but I know you can do it!

In that tiny kinda scary house......

Todays Tori Quiz was written by my daughter, Little Rita! Good luck and no googling! Have a rockin Tuesday everyone!



Black Dove

she was a january girl
she never let on how insane it was
in that tiny kinda scary house
by the woods
by the woods
by the woods
by the woods

black dove black dove
youre not a helicopter
youre not a copout either
honey black dove black dove
you don't need a space ship
they don't know you've already lived
on the other side of the galaxy
the other side of the galaxy

she had a january world
so many storms not right somehow
how a lion becomes a mouse
by the woods
by the woods
by the woods
by the woods

but i have to get to TEXAS
said i have to get to TEXAS
and i'll give away my blue, blue dress
my blue dress
black dove.....

she had a january girl
she never let on how insane it was
in that tiny kinda scary house
by the woods


Tori talks about Black Dove:

"When I sleep I often have nightmares. I can already hear your readers saying: 'I knew that. The way your songs sound you must really have horrible nightmares.' Just like the one I'm describing in the song Black-Dove on my last album From The Choirgirl Hotel. I see a black dove. I see its face clearly. The dove is transparent, like it is made of ice. I can see my hand through it. An auger goes through it and it is bleeding water. To get the same atmosphere musically I had to describe a scene of the movie Fargo to my musicians. A car is coming towards the camera from a long distance, very slowly. You know it will arrive in a moment. But you hope that this will never happen. My nightmares are so bad, that I mostly reject it when my friends want to take me to a cinema to watch a horror movie. Then I say: 'No, thank you. I will dream in a few hours.' Sometimes I feel like Hermann Hess' Steppenwolf... The nightmares agonized me since my childhood. I am the daughter of a Methodist preacher and as a child I was sexually abused by a friend of the family. I think that the nightmares are telling me things about me I need to know. And I try to understand what they mean. Maybe so I can get to know something more about my soul."-- Tori; Die Zeit, November 11, 1999

5 More Weird Things About ME/Blogger is Forked

5 (oops, 6!) More Weird Things about ME? The secret must be out of the bag, I am weirder than most, since I have been asked by Lelly to do this again!

1. When setting the volume on a remote, it must be set to an even number. Odd numbers freak me out.

2. I am often dressed improperly for all occaisions. Heck, I even went to a Halloween party in the wrong outfit. Hey, noone told me it was a pirate party! I can't help it, I wear what I want, when I want to, and I like strange clothes.....

3. I have never drank coffee. I love the smell of coffee, but I think it tastes like crap. I mean, if you are gonna load it up with milk and sugar so that you cant taste that stuff, then why not just have a cup of milk and sugar? (OK WDKY, I have actually ingested about a tablespoon of coffee in my lifetime......)

4. I think furniture must be designed for tall people, because my legs always end up dangling, my feet unable to reach the floor. Not comfortable! So, I prefer to sit on the floor. In fact, when I met my husband to bes mother for the first time, I sat on the kitchen floor to have a nice chat with her. I think I about gave that woman a heart attack for that........sheesh! What's the big deal anyway?

5. When I shop, I must have my cd player with Tori, Howie Day, or Dave Matthews, for example, playing at top volume. I cannot deal with all that energy in a grocery store or a eww big box store...so the music keeps me in my own head....Hey, I dont wanna go out there anyway!

Oh yeah and heres one more weird thing about me since blogger is cooperating and I realized its supposed to be six things: I only wear purple toenail polish, ever. Other colors just dont look right to me. And, I never paint my fingernails because I can feel the polish tingling under my skin......I swear it...that stuff is poison, but I guess my feet dont mind!

:P

Ok im weird, that settles it! If I get asked a third time, Im really gonna worry!

Have a lovely weekend......

55Flash Fiction Friday

He held her hands and looked into those eyes as candle light played off her glowing skin, no denying that tonight sparks would lead to something very special indeed.
Just then, the approaching waiter tripped over her crossed legs and stilletto, which dangled from her toe, sending showers of spaghetti and meatballs onto their smoldering laps.



Ok thats my 55 for today...cant wait to read yours! Now, get busy!

Wowee Kazowee!

http://filecabi.net/video/mentos-and-diet-coke-show.html
Diet Coke lovers, check this out! LOL

Leave your hat on.....

Well Hellloooo Mr Ratburn!

Baby, take off your coat...
real slow
Baby, take off your shoes...
here, i'll take your shoes
Baby, take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on



Go on over there and turn on the light...
no, all the lights
Now come back here and stand on this chair...
that's right...
(OMG no way I'm puttin' that part of the song in here! LOL)



You give me a reason to live
You give me a reason to live
You give me a reason to live

Happy HNT, friends!

Toys In the Attic....

Okley dokley, check out these oldies but goodies....


Cool! My dad had a giant erector set from when he was a kid. We used it to make barbie houses!


Put the little wheel in, you're ready to play
Tilt up, tilt down
That's the way to play
Wheelo Wheelo
Whee! It's a lot of fun!



Gotta love Wooly Willy! It now comes Homer Simpson and Mr Burns versions, as well as your favorite baseball team...






Rock em sock em Robots! Cool! My brother had one of those!




OK, we all know about Slinky, but why does this old stylee one come with that metal thing?




I will never forget the commercial...."Take out wrenched ankle." Hahahahaha!

Ok, Barefoot and Idiots Desert Island Top Five is up over at Idiots Paradise....if ya wanna play, and I know ya wanna......

I believe in peace, bitch.....

I am so excited because I have just found a whole lot of new Tori shots. This one is fantastic, isn't it? I won't bust them all out at once though, and I'm sorry, there's no quiz this week, I left my brain at the rave....


Oh LORDY! This picture was entitled Orgasmic. Ya think?


The Waitress
In which Tori discusses her feelings of PMS and violence.....

so i want to kill this waitress
she's worked here a year longer than i
if i did it fast you know that's an act of kindness
but i believe in peace
i believe in peace, bitch
i believe in peace
i want to kill this waitress
i can't believe this violence in mind
and is her power all in her club sandwich
but i believe in peace
i believe in peace, bitch
i believe in peace
i want to kill this killing wish
they're too many stars and not enough sky
boys all think she's living kindness
ask a fellow waitress
ask a fellow waitress

"The Waitress is how I can't control my violence, and in this one situation, we're both equals, we're both waitresses in this song. I don't go into the details of why. Why isn't the issue. The issue is that I thought I was a peacemaker, and this violence has totally taken control of every belief system that I have. It's a very scary thing, especially after you talk about anti-violence."-

- Tori; The Baltimore Sun, '94

Tori, my dear, you look delicious!

Ratburn and Barefoot Tear up Trance Dance!

This Saturday night, Mr Ratburn and I tttoootaallly got our grooves on baby, on the dance floor, all night, at a rave. Ok, it's not like we get to do this stuff all the time, with a kid and all, but it's not our first time either....woo hooo is all I can say! :P
Shall I elaborate? That just wouldn't be proper, but ok, since you insist, I'll share the pg rated stuff! There was an awkward moment when Mr Ratburn was spotted by two students of his, and we had to duck out and go dance somewhere else. We saw one of our freak pals reverted back to neanderthal....due to various substances which we did NOT take.....and then at one point, um, or two, I suddenly and un willingly, (well sorta) found myself in a compromising position on the trance floor between two men...erm, ok it wasn't so bad....but Mr Ratburn didn't like it so well.....
OK so I admit, it's now Monday and I am not fully recovered......but it was worth every second of the 4 hours of sleep I have had this weekend! And since this is my life theme.......Oh Yes baby, I saw the light in the strangest of places cuz I looked at it right...
Rave on, everybody!

Once in awhile you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....

I heisted this image from someone else's blog. Can't remember who...
Isn't it marvelous? (Could it be Miss Lissa?) Wow.......

Evil Mommy 55 Flash Fiction Friday

She kissed the top of her childs head, then quietly slipped the bribe money into the hand of the trusty bus driver...it was gonna cost her to keep that extra week of freedom, but by Joe, she was gonna have it! Besides, the kids will love a week at Disneyland with "Uncle Bus Driver."

Ok, all over America today mothers are screaming out in agony over the loss of their personal freedom and "space." Some of us even have teacher husbands, so we really are in for it!
Let's all take a moment of silence to mourn our loss, shall we?
Happy Friday, can't wait to read your 55.........

Job huntin' HNT

You know, as a freelance textile artist, work can sometimes slow way down. It's at those times, when I get crazy delusions of grandeur regarding my "career choices". When that happens, I go in search of a "j-j-jjj-j-j-j-j-job..there! I've said it, and it didnt feel all that good!
Not just any job, mind you, it has to be the best, most colorful, fun slacker job I can find......




Hey! Look here, Estamos contratando! I know what that means. And hey, this is a classy place and all, "Tarrrjayyyyyy"....I always wanted to work at a French store......let's go inside.






Don't worry! I know what you're thinking...she's not dressed for a job interview. Well, lookit here, in this Tarjay shoppe you can apply for a job right on this fancy computer while in your overalls! Imagine that.......

Hah! You guys didn't really think I was going to apply for a job at Tarjay did you? While I'll admit, I do look splendid in red, and I don't mind khaki pants either....but, hey...no way, I'm not gonna! Remember, I'm the boss!

Happy HNT everybody!

Wonder what Mr Ratburn and the Hijackers are up to this week for HNT?

...with every step, with every beautiful heel pointed...

Tori Amos paper doll!

UPDATE: The winner of yesterdays Tori quiz, Not The Red Baron, is QL, with a perfect score! Congratulations QL!

Ok here is my third Tori quiz entitled Not the Red Baron. Have fun and no googling, dammit!

I've often wondered if I would ever take on the topic of "Tori Down Under", in which some anonymous photographer catches Tori playing in front of a crowd in Australia sans pantalones! Tori often jokes about it now, and rarely forgets to wear bike shorts under her dresses now!

"Early in the show Tori greeted the audience and said the place was very grown-up that they were in, and that it was good to be grown up sometimes. She then lifted her dress to reveal her shorts underneath, saying something to the effect that when she goes to Australia this time, there will be something down under, referring again to the notorious live photo of her (sans panties)..."

"She then told everyone she was going to Australia, and that the last time she was in Australia she had forgotten to put on her underwear before a show because it was so hot outside and a photographer took a dirty picture of her and titled it Tori Amos Down Under. Everyone laughed pretty hard. She warned all us girls to make sure we are always wearing our underwear, even if it is the summer and it's hot. She even said the guys tend to forget too, and pointed back at the sound booth and said "Husband, I know you do." It was really cute."

Ok so am I going to show you the notorious picture of Tori at her piano with her bits showing?
Puhlease! I am a lady, and so is Tori. What you do get is the cropped version. If you want to see it all, you have to google the pic. Eeek!

Ok, so that's a good way to deal with that topic, I think! LOL Good luck with the quiz! Last weeks winner is Aerik from the Chronicles of Chaos. Congratulations, Aerik!