55Flash Fiction Friday

To Heck WithThe Mall!

Handknitted sock monkeys, cool! Perfect for my sister she thought and hit the buy button. Over here in this shop I need Ugly Bob and Sock Creature Ellie ! A handpainted sugar skull necklace, no way! Holiday shopping for unique handmade items has never been easier thanks to ETSY.com. she sighed. Who needs the mall?

~

I'm sorry I'm late! Todays 55 is sortof fictional but I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you all about ETSY. If you don't already know, ETSY is sort of like Ebay, although you do not bid, the prices are fixed, and everything is handmade!
You can buy some pretty cool artwork on ETSY, as well as unique clothing, toys, accessories, wood furniture, gadgets, handmade fabrics, knickers and lots, lots more. ALL of it handmade from all over the world! If you have a long list of gifts to buy this season, why not go over and check it out.

Heres the Link: ETSY.com
You will be so pleased at what you will find there, that you might never go to a mall, a Walmart, or a Target again. That is my evil plan.

I have a shop there too, but you already know that....and if you want to see it, it looks right now very much like a disheveled dress shop after a wild sale! You can get there with the link on my sidebar which shows a few of my handmade things.
I'm not saying get over there and spend your money with me, because I specialize in handmade womens clothing, and everybody knows, noone looks as hot in bloomers as the G~man himself!.....but I am saying get over there and see the amazing gift alternatives that you can grab without even leaving your computer!

No Traffic! No waiting! No lines! No parking lots! No big box stores! No malls! Hurray!
Now, isnt that cool?
~
Let us know if you all wrote a 55 so we can come over and check it out! And if you need help counting those words, you can always get Charles awesome 55 word counting tool!

Have a lovely weekend!

20India

Happy Birthday to Me HNT!!

You know you wanna click

Don't you just love turning 29 again?!

I do!
~
Guess what? Mr Ratburn is back!


Happy HNT everyone!

Over at Limes today, you can read all about the ferikked and ferhoodled way they talk in her neck of the woods. After your dippy ecks are all, get your hinnerdale over there and check it out!

Now, didja know Lime, that we have some of our own funny languages over here on the left coast? Yes, we do. In fact, we like totally have a few of em, but you like, already know that!

Today we're going to discuss the language of Boontling. Boontling is a folk language spoken only in Boonville in Northern California

The Anderson Valley, of which Boonville is the largest town, was an isolated farming, ranching, and logging community during the late nineteenth century. (WAS an isolated farming town?) There are several differing versions as to the origin of Boontling. Some assert that the dialect was created by the women, children, and young men in the hop fields and sheep shearing sheds as a means of recreation, and that it spread through the community as the children continued using it when they grew up. (But thats not what I have heard ladies and gentleman, NO NO....what local lore tells us is that the language was actually invented in the fields by the adults to keep the children who worked alongside of their parents from understanding their grown up talk.)

Although based on English, Boontling's unusual words are unique to Boonville. Scottish Gaelic and Irish, and some Pomo Indian and Spanish also influenced the vocabulary of the language. Boontling was invented in the late 1800s and had quite a following at the turn of the century. Now it is only spoken by aging counter-culturists and original residents. Because the town of Boonville only has a little over 700 residents, Boontling is an extremely esoteric dialect, and is quickly becoming archaic. It has over a thousand unique words and phrases.

In case youre wondering, about 15 years ago, Mr Ratburn did this crazy all out research project on the language of Boontling, so I kinda know what im tawking about here, plus I stole part of this offa wiki, and they did a pretty good job.......

If you've ever heard of The Anderson Valley Brewing Company, then youve heard of Boonville too. Also, I might add, the beer is delicious, and if you like to read while you're sipping your beer, there's a lot of boontling on the back of the bottle! And if you're ever in Anderson Valley, you can go to the brewery and sample the wares right outa the brew vats.

Here's a samplin from the Boontville dictionary in case you need ta know, but if you want more, just click the link:

applehead - a young girl; girlfriend or wife.

back-dated chuck - a person who is ignorant or behind the times
bahl - good, great
bucky walter - a pay phone. Derived from the fact that a call cost a nickel at the time.

crazeek - crazy.
eesole - an undesirable or questionable character: this is considered a disguised pronunciation or euphemism.

heelch - all; everything: A greedy person when invited to share food and drink would take the heelch: possibly from "whole cheese

kimmie - a man, more often applied to a stranger

nettied - all dressed up; wearing an abundance of lace, ribbons, and finery

shoveltooth - a medical doctor. [after a local doctor who had protruding front teeth
zeese - coffee

So there ya have it, I'b better get to work now. Perhaps next week, we'll dicuss the local old hippies aging counter culturists and what they have been and are still up to around here!

23India

Tupperware Stripper!

Well now, time for something totally different! Not a Tori or a Rufus in sight! Thanks, FG, for this crazy new band, STUMP, a mid/late 80's band.. Well, new to me, anyway....sorry, I dont know much about this band, yet, but they seemed like pretty cool blokes, and a barrel o fun, too!

STUMP
Tupperware Stripper

In other news, the farmers market is over for the year, and I have survivied. Tell me I must be crazy, because I have once again been elected to the board and remain committed to the happiness of tomatoes and their customers for two more years! Ah well, it will keep me out of trouble.

Have a lovely week, everyone!

24India

I'm tired of looking at that TV Dinner.

photo by Little Rita

26India

55Flash Fiction Friday

Thanksgiving

Driving home from dinner today I saw a man walking down the street all alone.
"That poor man is all alone on Thanksgiving, honey."
"Well maybe he's an asshole", he said.
Later at the video store, he saw a woman walking alone and said, "Alone on Thanksgiving, how sad."
"Well, maybe she's an asshole," I said.

~

This really happened today as we were coming home from turkey dinner at a friends. I guess it's all about perspective, isn't it? I hope you are all stuffed to the gills and having a wonderful weekend, and if you were alone today, I hope it was because you are an asshole! Be sure to let us know if you played so we can all come over and check out your 55!!!

27India

Thanksgiving Shuffle HNT

We're making pie and OK, we also have our ipods. What's up with that theme, anyway? Were we supposed to pose naked with our shuffles on our privates, or what?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING HNT!

28India

Quick! Someone Call 911!

Dontcha just hate it when your dolls get behind the wheel and then behave wrecklessly?

They weren't even wearing seatbelts.

There oughta be a law.

29 India

You Have Sent The Maid Home Early....

I've always liked the timeless jazziness of this band, although sometimes that Donald Fagen guy just drives me crazy with that singing voice of his, so I do not surprise myself one bit that my favorite Steely Dan song is sung by "the other guy", David Palmer.
From what I can gather, Donald Fagen had a case of the stage frights, which partially explains why, in Steely Dan, the lyrics are changed up between Fagen and Palmer.
I hope you will all have a loveley week, and I present to you, a video that you dont really need to watch, just listen to, because well.....its homemade and.... and by the way, notice that I dont really care if you dont like what I like, miss smarty pants!

DIRTY WORK



30 India

55Flash Fiction Friday

Bound to the chair, the frightened beast struggles to break free. Wicked stainless steel instruments of various sharpness line the tray table. Overhead lights blind the unfortunate victim. Panic ensues.

In one violent moment, the beast rips itsself from its prison, leaps out of the window and is gone.
Next time we'll take the nitrous!
~

Uh yeah, had lots of fun at the dentist yesterday with Little Rita....tell you what, hormonal 11 year old girls with supernumerals (the extra teeth, remember?) do not with the dentist mix well. We have to go back and try it again, this time with nitrous...poor kid. (If i'm nice, do you think she'll share that nitrous with me?)

Let us know if you wrote a 55 today so we can send the posse over to check it out. Notice I said WE? Ok, so heres the deal, I am going to India and you are all gonna have to carry on without me ya know, checking each others 55 out, commenting....using G~mans blog to report in! :D He he I know he'd love the job n all, since he's just so darn helpful, arent you G~man?

And do NOT forget Charles most awesome 55 counter tool, it's most helpful and you can get it here.

33 India

New Cell Phone Family HNT

logo: Gary looks like he called a porn 900 number and got more than he bargained for

Susie: yeah well i just oughta write that
Susie: since youre my ghost writer today
logo: heh
logo: and maybe he got you, look at that smile on your face
logo: good thing Hannah looks like she is all distracted playing Tetris on her phone cuz dad just got a shock

Ha! I can't even write my own HNTs anymore. Thanks, Logo. We are the proud new owners of three fancy cell phones...thank goodness Little Rita knows how to work them. You know what they say, if you need help with modern technology, ask your kid.


Happy HNT, everyone!

34 India

M I A

Susie has no comment at this time. We cannot confirm rumors that Susie has been seen partying with Jack Black and Henry Rollins in San Francisco, that is all.

36India

La la la...... la la .....la la.... la!

Why yes, it is Tori as a matter of fact! I have found this fun cover of Tori doing Kylie Minogues I Cant Get You Outa My Head. I hope you will all enjoy it!



38 India....

I have two more weeks running the bazaar, betas, and I cannot wait for it to be over. I'm tired of schlepping stuff to the market and back, it's exhausting. Then, it will be my birthday, and before you know it, we're off to India. This year has gone by so quickly, that it sorta seems like I just got back from last years trip. I know I haven't been real talkative lately but I hope you all will hang around and stay tuned for the upcoming adventures of Susie and Mr Ratburn in India, the Panch Trip! LOL (Panch, that's five!)

Pink Polka Dotted Pretty Things

Pretty things, so what if I like pretty things

Pretty lies, so what if I like pretty lies

From where you are, to where I am now

I need these pretty things, around the planets of my phase

Everything's a sign of my astrology

From where you are, to where I am now

Is its own galaxy

Be a star and fall down somewhere next to me

And make it past your color TV

This time will pass and with it will me

And all these pretty things

Don't say you don't notice them

Hey, Im giving it away soon, I gotta wear it while I can!

Have a cozy warm weekend, everyone. It's raining here, so why even bothah to get outa bed.....

40India

55Flash Fiction Friday

Signora del Gioconda, you are looking lovely today!

Stop, Leonardo!
Lisa, you make me crazy when you look at me that way!
I said stop!
I cannot, Lisa, te amo, run away with me!
You tell that to all your models, Leo!
No, bellissima, I do not!
DO TOO!
I must have you!
Paint, Leo....


This is a recycled 55 that Logo and I wrote last year....even with Charles FABULOUS 55 flash fiction word counting tool, I remain uninspired. Alas! If you hate counting words, you will love the new tool! Be sure to run over and thank Charles for his invention. I apologize for recycling...but some of you may not have seen this one before.
Have a lovely weekend, people!

41India

Stonehenge Monster HNT

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing...

Stonehenge .......

.......get me the hell out of Stonehenge is all i'm sayin!

Happy HNT, Everyone!

Thanks, Logo for the mini Stonehenge of our very own!

42India

I Feel Sorta Icky....

Ok well, maybe not this bad, but still.....

See you around for HNT!

Oh I Am A Lonely Painter, I Live In A Box Of Paints.....

This week WDKY and I seem to be having a bit more musical monday ESP.....
WDKY is presenting my absolute favourite Joni Mitchell song and I have found my absolute favourite cover of that Joni song, performed by Tori Amos. Not planned, honest!
I worked really hard all weekend and I am just exhausted. Running the bazaar is very difficult work, betas!
Have a lovely Monday everyone, and I am still taking gift suggestions for Vikram's birthday, please see my post below.

A Case Of You


India44

Ok, so I have this pal in India....

......and it will be his birthday on the day we arrive. I don't know him very well but he lives here:

I think he is about 28-30ish. Vikram is single, unlike his brother who is married and has two children. To the children I will bring handmade blankets.

But here's the thing. What sort of gift does an American with access to just about anything give as a birthday present to a man who lives in prehistoric India?
I am serious, people, help me out here.

An interesting bit of tradition in the village that Vikram is from is that the women are often married at the age of 14. However, Vikram, unlike his brother, does NOT want to marry a 14 year old "woman." (Remember that place from last year, people, with the 28 year old grandmother, and the other 28 year old woman that I met with 10 daughters? Yes, that place.)

Any and all suggestions, silly or otherwise, for a very special gift for a man living in a very unique and lost world, will be considered. One idea I have is to bring him books, his English is not great, but pretty good, and I know reading will only make it better. The problem here is, which books? Certainly not my favorite author TC Boyle, no, he wouldn't get it at all. Poe? Too creepy? What do you think?

I do not have a picture of Vikram, but this is his mom and his niece, who by the way, looks very much like Vikram!

46India

55Flash Fiction Friday

Just a Normal Little Momster

Sitting down at her makeup table, she growled and began removing her "party face." Off came the green spots, one by one, followed by the thick black eyebrows. Pulling off the wig, her real hair sprung free.

Smiling at herself in the mirror, she thought, Halloween is over, it feels good to be normal again.

Hope you all had a bewitchingly good time treak or treating! I am happy to announce that Little Rita, who has been sick since last Friday with the flu, still managed to drag her little self out there and make some neighborhood t and t rounds.

Seeing her so determined reminded me of trick or treating in Alaska, in the rain, slush, snow, freezing temps.....nothing could keep us from getting out there and doing our jobs. We were kids, and this was Halloween gosh darn it, and we had work to do, weather be ding danged, flu be gosh darned!

Anyway...if you want to know more about 55Flash, check the pink and white button on the sidebar over there. I hope you will all get out there and visit all the 55s, and also check G~mans blog for some 55 participants as well!

48India