Friday, March 31, 2006

55 Fridays Flash Fiction

She walked down the noisy corridor toward the cafeteria, clutching tightly the neon green handle of her new lunch bag, orange with black leopard print flannel. She thought about the red shiny apple in her bag, and how she would trade it today with Lacey for two of those yummy cookies her mom always made.

Seems like a bit of April Foolery has struck our friends over at Sepia Mutiny! Well, I sure hope it's a joke!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

American Gothic HNT

(We don't get half nekkid in public, it's just not proper!....)

Sheesh, I feel like such a dork.......wanna see more at Mr Ratburns blog?

This week, the thespians take a respite from acting over at Hijacked.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

You could almost drown my waterfall......

Today for Tori Tuesday , I chose this lovely song called Ruby, Through the Looking Glass, which is on her 2004 release, Scarlet's Hidden Treasures C/D included in the Welcome To Sunny Florida DVD/CD set. Tori calls it her "pregnancy song".
As some of you may or may not know, Tori had lost three pregnancies before her little girl was born. This song was written while she was pregnant with Tash. Happily, her daughter was born healthy and is now a lovely 6 year old.
I chose this song today, not because I can relate to her difficult pregnancy thing, although, mine did have it's problems, not because it's one of QL's favorite Tori Tunes, but because I have it stuck in my head and I can't get it out! Damn you, Tori!
Have a lovely Tori Tuesday everyone!

Ruby, Through The Looking Glass

feel a little hand turning inside me
don't you think she feels us fighting
strike me at the root
i won't let you
put her through
what you put me through
when i said --- i wanted it all,
doesn't every woman want it all...
running through the house screaming
girl unstrung you could always play that one
baptized of fire and every beat in the bar
hymns for her
feel her kick me from the inside
when i said ---- i wanted it all,
doesn't every woman want it all...
as a man ---- do you find,
doesn't every boy smoke to cry...
you could almost drown her waterfall
you could almost drown my waterfall
through the Looking-Glass, Ruby sees
things in you
things in me
she won't wanna be
just a little light turning the key
at the root, what i missed...
she will carry
when i said --- i wanted it all,
doesn't every woman want it all...
as a man --- do you find,
doesn't every boy smoke to cry...
feel a little hand

Monday, March 27, 2006

Friday, March 24, 2006

55 Friday

By the way, HNT is below this post, and yes, I'm still waiting for all 200 of you to get over here and tell me how awesome my HNT is....that's right, you know I went to nearly ALL of the blogs to see what would do it! It's down there........

Some of the bloggers over at Sepia Mutiny play this writing game on Fridays, called 55Fiction Fridays, or 55 Fridays. The idea is to write a complete story in 55 words. I've copied some information below regarding nanofiction as it is also called. I'm going to start 55Fridays today on my blog!
Mind you, I am NOT a writer, I will not even pretend to be one, but, I hope you will all join in, either writing a 55 word story on your own blog, or you can post it in my comments. Have fun!

(By the way, Sepia Mutiny is one terrific blog, you have to check it out. The blog consists of a handful of extremely talented writers that all have their own blogs, but contribute to this one on a daily basis......all the writers are Indian, I do believe, and their topics center around Indian subjects as well as politics, literature and pop culture, all with an Indian twist. Ok, just cuz you aren't a freak about India doesn't mean you can't find this blog absolutely amazing....I'm telling you, these guys are such good writers that sometimes I do not even understand what they are talking about. Whoosh, right over my head!)
If you dare, write short-shorts (shamelessly stolen from Sepia Mutiny)

Today is Friday and that means that at some point in the next 21 hours, I’m going to write 55 words which contain an entire story. I’m not that big on memes but this one (“55 Fiction Fridays”) is precious to me, because it reminds me of writing exercises and workshops and english minor-y goodness. Por ejemplo:

She nervously adjusted her sari, hoping no one noticed. So far, the night had gone flawlessly; she had made a good impression on everyone, she could just tell.

The older woman at the table noted how silk was tugged upwards. Taking a delicate sip of tea, she thought, “She’s not good enough for our family.”

Flash fiction, also called sudden fiction, micro fiction, postcard fiction or short-short fiction, is a class of short story of limited word length. Definitions differ but is generally accepted that flash fiction stories are at most 200 to 1000 words in length. Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word flash: “For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.” Traditional short stories are 2,000 to 10,000 words in length.[wiki]
That Hemingway example is ridiculously inspiring. One day I want to write a short that short. I don’t even know if there is a name for a short so short. There is, however, a name for the type of writing this meme encourages:
One type of flash fiction is the short story with an exact word count. An example is 55 Fiction or Nanofiction. These are complete stories, with at least one character and a discernible plot, exactly 55 words long.[wiki]

A Hari Krishna temple in Mangalore

Ok, here comes my nanofiction:

Nearly dusk, Mangalore station. Squeezing from the bus, backpack stubbornly wedging between each row of seats, curious eyes search, and find her soul.
Stepping off into a wall of steam, adjusting her pack, her shirt already soaked with sweat. Fear, confusion. Finding a phone, she inserts 5 rupees as drops of sweat roll off her nose.

Rural Karnataka

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Forsooth, t'is HNT!

This week over at Hijacked, we are each acting out a Shakespearean character. I chose Juliet. Now, as you know, Juliet takes the sleeping poison, Romeo finds her, kills himself. Juliet wakes up, sees her beloved lying there dead, then stabs herself with O happy dagger.
Imagine for a minute, shall we, that Romeo gets his fair Juliet. They are together in life, both of their dreams fullfilled. Little Romeos and little Juliets play in the courtyard. Life is good!
But waitaminit! It's been 20 years, and Juliet is getting a little tired of cleaning, cooking, and picking Romeo's dirty codpieces up off the bedroom floor and having to wash them. Besides, she's been messing around with Benvolio on the side, and needs to be rid of
ol Romeo. Let's sneak a peek, fair readers, and watch Juliet attempt to rid herself of, shall we say, excess baggage?

"No, Juliet, I am your beloved! Please! Don't make me drink the poison!"

"Hah! At last he is dead! Now, I will seal the deal with this happy dagger, just in case I've given Romeo that "die for a day then wake up" stuff instead of the real thing! At last, I am free! Benvolio! I'm coming! We shall be together at last!"

Fair Gentle Folk, I bid thee a most favorable day of Half-Naked debauchery!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Kick in the Pants!

Today I thought I'd just talk about a bunch of my blogging pals....and link to their sites so you can check em out! Most of them are like me, would be lucky to have 5 or 6 daily readers......and so, I'm not saying that their blogs are fabulous, although you might think so....what I am saying is, that with a little encouragement, and traffic, these blogs could develop into something more....well they could get addicted to blogging like the rest of us, and we could get more out of them! (And, I'm also not saying that my blog is fantastic, cuz it's not, its just well, average!)

Firstly, I'd like to introduce you to my pal, Ian, who's blog is called Escape From Fortress Guinness. When he's not out chasing the ladies, he can be found at the local library in Liverpool, where he works. He's also a fine bass player, although at this time, his axe is probably covered with a thick layer of dust! Ian is such a blog slacker, but he writes good stuff, that I thought you could go over there and give him a good kick in the kecks, and perhaps that'll inspire him to post more often!

Secondly, we have Steve. Now, some of you may remember Steve, from my blog, wayyyy back, when I told the story of our very first date, in high school. That's right, Steve, over at Sideways Again, was my very first boyfriend! He likes to write film and music reviews, and he could also use a few visitors over at his blog....that might get him inspired! (and yeah, this will date us, but I've known him for 28 years!)

Most of you have already met Mr Ratburn, over at My Own Personal Torture. What some of you might not know is, that Mr Ratburn is a real live high school teacher, and Mr Ratburn from the Arthur the Aardvark stories, is his hero. Mr Ratburn only posts HNT's, but they are all funny, and if you are into man nipple, this is the place to go! (the nipples are mine, though, cuz oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Mr Ratburn is my husband!)

Moving on, we have a really special gal with a blog called Shoot Boy. The first time I ever read a comment from this blog, with it's grotesque photo of a bloody faced man, I was completely disgusted. Then I realized, hey, this is my very own little niece, Aubrey! She has since lost the bloody faced man pic! Aubrey doesn't post much, in fact it's been awhile, but, I really want to encourage her to blog polite, she's just 19.......she's super cool, an artist, and wants to study psychology. Go over there and pester her to blog more!

Ok that's all for now...I'll do more next week! Now go out there and check these people out! They are all cool!

my heart is Like the ocean

Originally released in 1992, todays lyrics are from Take To The Sky, a bit of a mysterious song that Tori will only say helped pull her out of a rut after her disastrous first release called Y Kant Tori Read. Alas, since you cannot hear it, you will have to take my word for it, this is one mighty cool song. It has a great beat and is easy to dance to! :P
Where to hear it? Only on the bee side of the Winter single, or in my case, something I um erm stumbled upon online. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Take to The Sky

this House is like Russia
with eyes cold and grey
you got me moving in a circle
i dyed my hair red today
i just want a little passion
to hold me in the dark
i know i've got some magic
buried deep in my heart yeah
but my priest says
you ain't savin no souls
my father says
you ain't makin any money
my doctor says
you just took it to the limit
and here I stand
with this sword in my hand
you can say it one more time
what you don't like
let me hear it one more time
then have a seat while I
take to the sky

my heart is Like the ocean
it gets in the way
so close to touching freedom
then I hear the guards call my name

if you don't like me just a little
why do you hang around
there she goes again
wearing those purple panties
there she goes again
wearing her heart
there she goes again
why do you
take it, take it, take it ...

BTW, the part about the purple panties, sometimes she sings it, more often, not. Not sure why though. Hey, ya know this is the second color of panties that Tori has sung about. Well, actually, first, since this song is, yeah, purple, then orange knickers, woo hoo! Ok, kid, that's enough....:P

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Friends from India

Enjoy these pictures of some of the special people that I met while in India. (Clicking on images will greatly improve quality! :D)

Susie hanging out in a bidi factory in Mysore. The intense heat, time and humidity has caused these old buildings to darken and stain. Factory consists of three or four men sitting cross legged on the floor all day rolling slim indian cigarettes, called bidis. My traveling pal then had a great time exchanging his british city slicker cigarettes for bidis.

Here are our three young entrepenuers who took us on a locals style tour of Mysore, stopping at the bidi factory, then an aromathreapy shop(pe) where we indulged in 100% pure sandlewood oil, jacaranda, black jasmine and other native Indian goodies. We felt that we had paid a bit too much for the oils, but when I came back home and did a little research, I realized, that, for example, even some very special moisturizers and face creams contain less than 1% jacaranda oil, and here I had an ounce of pure jacaranda oil! Ok so guess how much I figured that 75. USD worth of oils turned out to be worth in America? I figured it out to be about $500.00, at least.....woo hoo! My favorite guy up there is the one on the left, who had at age 20, already lost his two permanent front teeth. He was really into reggae music, and constantly sang "No Woman, no Cry"!

Now these characters were playing cricket in the street in Bangalore before school started in the morning. I never could figure out why, but school in Bangalore and Mysore doesn't start til 11 am. So, if you are out early in the morning, "schoolkids" are everywhere, playing and hanging out with groups. The boys, usually alone. The girls, almost always escorted by mama.
Just look how cute those little whippersnappers are!

More little schoolkids hanging out together in the morning before school starts, Koromangala, Bangalore. Look at that little angel wayyyy over there on the left.......ohhhh!

Here are two very special pals that I met in Agra. Ya know, I live in the country, where wildlife abounds, but, even after three visits to India, I am still amazed about bands of monkeys roaming the countryside, and swinging from trees and buildings in the cities!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Signs, signs, everywhere signs!

Ok well, at least he's honest!

OK, now I have seen this truck driving down the road here in town, and I just about crashed my car laughing...I love humor in business!

Like, I can't really be sure how many times Little Rita has, like, said like, because like, this is California, and like, every one says like, like, all day long, so like, who can count all that LIKING?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Is this green enough for you, Os?

Gigantic Vegetable Invasion HNT!

One of the coolest things about my work is that I sometimes get to make silly costumes. Take this giant pea pod costume, for example, which I made for the annual town parade. As you can see in the picture below, I am not the only extra large vegetable HNTer this week! Happy HNT!

Uh, yes, as a matter of fact we do like to dress up in giant vegetable costumes and hang out together. You got a problem with that?

Mr Ratburns got Guinness!


It is spring time in India, flowers and fields are in bloom and the country goes wild with people running on the streets and smearing each other with brightly hued powders and coloured water. This is the festival of Holi, celebrated on the day after the full moon in early March every year.

Originally Holi is a festival to celebrate good harvests and fertility of the land. There are many legends concerning the origin of this spring festival. The most popular among these concerns Prince Prahlad, the god-fearing son of the evil King Hiranyakasipu. Prahlad did not give up worshipping the god Vishnu in spite of fearful persecution by his father and his demon aunt Holika, who was deputed by her brother to kill young Prahlad. Ultimately, when Holika who was immune to death by fire, took Prahlad and entered a blazing furnace built for his destruction, it was the wicked Holika who was burnt to ashes by divine intervention, while Prahlad came out unscathed. Before she died, she realised her follies and begged the boy's forgiveness. As his gesture of forgiveness, Prahlad deemed that her name would be remembered at least one day in the year.
Holi commemorates this event from mythology, and huge bonfires are burnt on the eve of Holi as its symbolic representation.
This exuberant festival is also associated with the immortal love of Krishna and Radha. The young Krishna would complain to his mother Yashoda about why Radha was so fair and he so dark. Yashoda advised him to apply colour on Radha's face and see how her complexion would change.
Holi is celebrated with particular eclat in the villages around Mathura, the birth-place of Krishna.

Down the ages, civilisation has advanced leaps and bounds, but the spirit of Holi remains the same. Each year, without fail, the old and the young alike, gather into groups and indulge in a riot of colours.

Holi is also synonymous with bhang, which is consumed by many in the form of laddoos and ghols. One could get away with almost anything on this day; squirting coloured water on passers-by and dunking friends in the mud pool saying "bura na mano, Holi hai" (don't feel offended, it's Holi)

Apart from this usual fun with coloured powder and water, Holi is marked by vibrant processions which are accompanied by folk songs, dances and a general sense of abandoned vitality.

Check out Lime's Holi post from yesterday......

This is Michael Caracciolo, a real pain in the arse.

As Mr Ratburn would say, this guy is a real pisser. I can only stand him for about 2 minutes. He does this hilarious schtick on Starbucks, that you all really must the link to see it, then when you get to the home page, click the link that says all videos, go about half way down the second column of videos to one entitled "Starbucks 1/21/2006" (I know, sorry! There has got to be a better way but I sure can't figure out how) , the movie will load, watch it.......then forget you ever heard of him. He will haunt your dreams.

I would like to take the time to introduce myself to you. My name is Michael Caracciolo. I am the president of a ticket company in New Jersey. However, although I have been in the ticket business for many years, I am certain that I am in the wrong profession. I should be an actor instead. I believe that I possess all the qualities necessary for success as an actor. I am a very conversational person, my voice easily projects, via my six foot six inch 400 pound amplifier! I also sing. My unique background, persona and life’s experience truly qualify me as one of a kind .The material recorded here is ad-libbed, improvisational and spontaneous. It contains profanity which is offered only in support of demonstrating my dramatic intensity and the context of the material. I am certain that after watching it once you will immediately want to contact me. Thank you very much for your time. Email

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to rush off and email this guy at once before all the talent scouts snatch him right up!

Monday, March 13, 2006

In My Blood Like Holy Wine, You taste So Bitter and So Sweet..

It's Monday night and I am listening to a Tori Mix C/D that I made. The first song is A Case Of You, which is not available on any of her releases. Wow! I am sure glad that I have it! In fact, a few of the songs on this set are kind of rare!
For those of you that have to know, here's the track list for my latest homemade Tori C/D.

A Case Of You
Daisey Dead Petals
Sister Janet
Take To The Sky
Upside Down
Ain't No Sunshine
Butterfly (Chaos Mix)
Famous Blue Raincoat
I Don't Like Mondays
New Age
Sweet Sangria
Breathe (Anna Nalick)
American Baby (Dave Matthews Band)

A Case Of You by Joni Mitchell

Just before our love got lost you said
"i am as constant as the northern star"
And i said, "constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me i'll be in the bar"
On the back of a cotton coaster
In the blue t.v. screen light
I drew a map of canada
Oh canada
With your face sketched on it twice
In my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Well, i could drink a case of you, darling
And i would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet
Oh i am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And i'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me
"love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
'cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
My blood
My holy wine
Tastes so bitter and so sweet
Well i could drink a case of you, darling
And i would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet
I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said, "go to him, stay with him
But be prepared to bleed"
My blood
My holy wine
Tastes so bitter and so sweet
Well i could drink a case of you, darling
And i would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet.

I would drink a case of you, darling, and I would still be on my feet...WOW!
Oh man, if someone sang those words to me, I'd follow them half way around the world.....

A copy of my latest Tori C/d goes to the first person to leave the next lines to this Tori song in comments box.

"Can you launch rockets from here?"
Boy I've done it for years
Right over my head
And when I promised my hand...
He promised me back
Snow Cherries from France.

Congratulations QL......!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Friday, March 10, 2006


I've just been hired to make a Woodstock costume for a 10 year old boy. Ackkk! Papier Mache'? Foam and fabric? Buckram? Wire? I'm really stuck on this to make a head piece that covers his head so noone recognizes him, so that he can still breathe and see (where am I gonna put the kids eye and breathing holes?)......and doesn't cause him whiplash! (just take a look at the size of that beak, it's enough to make anyone topple over!)....the body part I can handle, wings and tail.....but the head has me stumped.....any ideas?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

When I was in 2nd grade, the school nurse came into our class and put an eye chart up on the board. No sweat, right? Read the letters with one eye and then the other. So, when it came to my turn, I read all the way to the bottom line with my left eye, and then, had to cover and read with the right eye. Uhoh! Houston, we have a problem! I could not even read the top letter, even though I knew it was an E! Of course, the other kids just thought that was hilarious, which made me cry. Kids can be so cruel.
What followed was lots of tests, and I was diagnosed with amblyopia. That means that I only see out of one eye. Actually, I have 20/20 in the left eye, and 20/200 in the right eye, but 20/200 might as well be completely blind! We tried the eye patch routine, that didn't seem to help, and I kept bumping into walls and couldn't do my school work, either.
So, I've been like that all my life, and my left eye has done all the work for 40 years. As it happens to most people over 40, I began to have trouble reading without my super magno glasses.......and that worried me, because ya know, I've only got one working eye here! But here's what I noticed, now that my left eye is weakening, which is completely normal for people my age, my right eye seems to be waking up! It's so weird, almost like a new eye moved into the right side and is trying really hard to work for me now. Unfortunately, sometimes now it crosses....especially when I am looking in the mirror!
Anyway, I am so grateful for my vision, and I hope it will not get any worse. For now, I cannot read, sew, or draw without my glasses, and I have 6 pair. They are all the same, not prescription, just magnifying. For this weeks HNT, I present myself in my two favorite pair of glasses. Be good to your eyes!
I leave you with this final question: Do you believe it's true that men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses?

Mr Ratburn's got four eyes as well!

Please stop by Hijacked and wish the Idiot a Happy Birthday!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Bug A Martini?

On todays Tori Tuesday I have snatched this review of Tori's 2004 release, Welcome To Sunny Florida, which is a DVD of a concert in Florida, plus a bonus cd with some special little songs that every Tori fan is sure to love.

Tori Amos's first concert-length live DVD, Welcome to Sunny Florida, is a riveting showcase for the artist's formidable vocal and instrumental chops and preciously off-kilter pop music. Taped on a wet day in September 2003 at West Palm Beach (the final stop on Amos's Lottapianos tour), the show was well performed, stunningly recorded, and lusciously lensed, if too frantically cut. Session ace Matt Chamberlain on drums and the nimble-fingered Jon Evans on bass provide just enough firepower to flesh out Amos's moody micro-epics while leaving sufficient space to keep her voice and keyboards the focus of our attention. Most songs feature brilliantly reworked arrangements, and the band uses the venue's acoustics to heighten the music's magic. Amos, a vital 40, enjoys a reputation as a great live act, and it's easy to see why as she loses herself in song, head thrown back, one hand on the keys of her Bösendorfer grand and the other on an accompanying Wurlitzer.
(If you want to check out a live performance of Tori before you venture out to see her in real life, this dvd is the perfect way to do that!)

Ok, and now my review of the accompanying CD which includes 6 awesome songs that can only be found right here on Scarlet's Hidden Treasures. I have included the lyrics to Apollo's Frock, which is my second favorite tune on the c/d. My favorite, Indian Summer, I reviewed a few weeks back. This c/d is small, but let me tell you, it contains some mighty Tori! This is one of the Tori c/d's that I play the most. It is fresh, beautiful, and I never get tired of hearing it. And, incidentally, word has it on the street, that QL just loves Ruby Through the Looking Glass! Right, QL?

Apollo's Frock

put me back in the cold
I'm going to Antarctica--
it feels like these days,
our old meeting place,
in an LA cafe
or on the Serengeti,
the hunt has not Begun.
cause I am tired of you taking from me
and I have let you eat from the fruits of my tree
I am not the one to turn into a Laurel wreath
for the last time you have crossed my line
you could never see
you could never see
Apollo's frock
was always as beautiful
always as beautiful as
the saddest rainstorm
Apollo your frock
was always as beautiful
always as beautiful
as your sister's
that your light shined on
how can you think you've won
when there can be no winners
the soul has been lost
of the bow and quiver
do you remember
well I remember
amid the clashing of swords
I'm losing you in my rear view
and I have called the Shekhina in
and the ninefold and a few other friends
you and your predators were warned
if the cubs were drawn in
for the last time you would officially
cross my line
you could never see
never see
Apollo's frock

Monday, March 06, 2006