Thursday, December 31, 2009

Sub Nava Sal From Delhi

Hello Lime, Ian and Gman, my faithful readers! ...just survived a car accident..we are ok. I am sorry I am not blogging good stuff but I am having fun despite Delhi is kicking my ass! What happened?
We were in a rickshaw and turning right...but remember we were on the other side of the street....a motorcycle came round the bend and the rickshaw and motorcycle collided. The driver of the motorcycles head was rammed into the rickshaw drivers side. The driver was dragged while the rickshaw kept was horrible. Keri was inches from being the victim of this accident and I really feel terrible about this. It is surely not what I wanted for her to experience here in this crazy and lovely place.
So I have read about what to do in this situation as a tourist and so we did what I have always known I would do. I pushed Keri out of the rickshaw, poor girl. I took a wad of money and stuffed it in the drivers pocket and I got us the hell out of there. There was nothing we could do. It wasnt our fault.
But I have to tell you all, tonight is New Years Eve, and Keri wanted to go out dancing. I knew this wasn't a good idea but I was gonna do it for her. Now she doesn't wanna go thank god.

So I dont want you all worry! I have been here 7 times and I am cool. I got a lot of really cool bedspreads today and some awesome jackets too. It's just that India is good and bad and good and bad and good and bad all at once. I love it. CAN THESE PEOPLE JUST BE MORE FUCKING CAREFUL WITH EACH OTHER? My god, the lack of respect for their own safety is ridiculous. So far this is a rant tour...but what the hell.
I just want to screammmmmmmm!
PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ARSES YOU STUPID IGNORANT INDIAN FUCKS. This is my blog I can cuss if I want. The three of you will understand!
Happy New Year to all of you!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Crazy Crazy Delhi

Hello everyone. OMG I just got out of the worst traffic jam of my life! We set out for the Taj Mahal today, and of course that was awesome. Saw all the standard fare, camels, elephants, etc. The Taj was lovely, of course.
Then on the way back we just got caught in the rush hour thing which is normal in Delhi. However, we saw a little boy get hit by a car tonight, and a lot of really crazy driving. I just dont get it why these people can't get a clue about having to get the brains to match the technology around here.
Let me tell you what I mean about that. Just before I left I read that a bridge under construction in Jaipur collapsed, killed 40 + people, all workers. Now, I know this is because they are too cheap to use real machines, because they can pay crap wages and work those people literally to death. To prove my point, if they had used a crane and all that sort of heavy machinery under that bridge in Jaipur, well, perhaps only the operator of the crane would have died instead of all those humans being crushed by the collapsing bridge. And, it is also my suspicion that they left out the re bar on the damn bridge because the boss decided to sell it for extra profit. I'll bet you I am not far from the truth here, and it really pisses me off.
Now, in Delhi they are building the 5th largest airport in the world, and that just scares the crap out of me because I want to know...will they leave out the re bar? How many people will die when they fuck up making that airport?
When will these people put human lives and education before needing to compete with the techno world? They are simply not ready. Integrity and honour are missing, education is missing.
And, tell me this. If you plow a highway right through a village, thereby splitting that town literally in two, then shouldn't you also build them some catwalks so they can get to the other side of their village without becoming maimed by an ambassador in the process?
And if there are 1.33 billion people in India, why are there so many lazy ass men sitting around drinking tea when the garbage is piling up everywhere? Can't they just pick it up, sheesh?
Ok I know I sound frustrated and I am about that stuff, but i'm cool. I'm just making observations. I mean, I have seen so many improvements in India since I first started coming here, such as recycling bottles, spaying and neutering of their pets, and polio vaccines. (Finally, what a shame that other nations such as our own did not share their polio vaccine with the rest of the world 40 years ago. It's inexcusable that there are so many very young people here with polio.)
So tomorrow is New Years Eve. Women are not allowed to go out to parties and clubs here without men. So, I guess I am going to have to get one. Just kidding. But, we are going to see if my travel agent pal, Mubarik and his very shy brother will escort us. How ridiculous is it that a 49 year old woman needs an escort on New Years Eve? Otherwise, we're staying in the room.
I hope you are all well.
And yes, Gman, I was doing that thing all day, the very first day.
Happy New Year!

Monday, December 28, 2009


Ok folks, we made it to India! I am sitting in a farty smelling internet place with sticky keyboards of course! My trip to India wouldnt be the same without sticky keyboards! So we finally arrived at about 4 am and I proceeded to drink myself silly, woke up at 1 pm and have been doing that thing that Gman doesnt want to see in printed words ever.....
I feel awful. But I will be ok later....
So stay tuned for something more exciting than hangover news! Love you, Gary and Little Rita!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Miracle!

Do you hear angels? I think I do...

I'm too religiously confused to understand the significance of my Jewish husband finding the image of Christ on naan bread. Other than that, I hope you will enjoy our lip synced version of Walking In The Air. I'll see you all next from the other side of the world, and Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate!

*UPDATE*I just had to share this with you all! Hee hee hoo hoo ho!


Monday, December 21, 2009

We Are The World, It's True

I think this is perfect blog fodder for this week. What an epic thing. I almost forgot about a certain someone who is no longer with us who pops up in the song, which made my heart jump a little. To have been a fly on the wall during this recording session, wow!
See if you can guess all the aging rock stars which appear in this video, and could somebody please tell me who that is singing between Kenny Rogers and Tina Turner? I hope you will enjoy it. Happy Holidays.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Switching to India Time....

Shamelessly stolen from Sepia Mutiny.....Absolut Mulit

Mutineers, I now present you... Finnish Bhangra -

It's 1:30 am Friday night/Saturday morning. I fell asleep at 8:30 tonight and woke up at midnight. I thought that was weird. Then I realized, I am switching over to India time. It is happening automatically. Mr Ratburn thinks my sleeping habits are odd, but I think that after 8 years of traveling to India, my body has adjusted well to being able to sleep where ever, and whenever the need be. I can even sleep on planes now!

A word about sleeping on planes. I could never figure out how and why people could just get on a plane, cover their head with a blanket, and sleep through an 11 hour flight. (Now, I'm not kidding about the 11 hour flight, and that's just halfway!) That is, until last year when Eileen the nurse hipped me to the fact that half the plane was dosed on Ambien. Now, I don't know about you, but I do not want to be groggy if the plane...oh wait, maybe I do....but can you imagine what could have happened had that pilot in NY had to ditch that plane a half hour later after the Ambien had taken effect? Personally, I like to be completely sober when I travel. I mean, nothing like having one teeny airplane bottle of whiskey too many and then falling down the stairs when you deboard...

Which reminds me of the first and only time that I went to Hawaii. I was 23, and my boyfriend at the time thought it would be a fabulous idea to drink on the 5 hour flight which departed Los Angeles for Maui at 7:30 am. On that flight I learned that drinking on an airplane has some really ugly results. I probably wont do it ever again unless I am trapped between two large people that are overflowing into my space, causing me some claustro symptoms!

No wait! I cannot jinx self. Every year I say to myself my little prayer that I will be sitting in an aisle seat next to someone small and quiet all the way to India. Most of the time I get my way. Sometimes I don't. Just watch my deodorant work overtime when I don't get an aisle seat! LOL

I hope that you will all have a lovely holiday season, whatever you celebrate!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Thursday Portrait

OK that was our favorite little cocktail glass that I bought at the Flamingo Las Vegas this August, but alas, I broke it. So, if anyone I know that happens to go to, or otherwise, lives in Las Vegas, I would be eternally grateful for another one and will happily pay for its way here! (Hi Blither!)

Hello everyone! I have to admit, I am not really busy with my business, but rather, doing the holiday thing combined with gathering all my stuff for India. I am leaving the day after Christmas. The rough itinerary is Delhi, Goa and Bangalore areas, of course. I promise to try to eat more often so I don't have too many starvation induced freak outs! I am, of course, mega excited!
Omg I am also so excited about watching Survivor tonight, I just love that show. I still hold out hopes that one day I will be on Survivor and become the "little old hippie chick that takes care of all of us" and lasts to the end by blending into the background and working real hard at camp! I could even get lucky and my tribe will be gifted with a sewing machine and I then can really show em what fashonery I can create from a rice sack or a bin tal grass mat! Really, I am far too old and wise not to get the message that the experience its self is worth far more than a million dollars, but LR does need to go to college...
It has been cold and so I am ready for some sun! I am ready to sweat, get dirty and be hot. I am ready to drink some mighty amounts of whiskey with my traveling pal and friend of 25 years, Keri. I will see the Taj Mahal again! I will hang out with my pal Mubarik in Pahar Ganj. I am ready to gasp on lungfuls of auto exhaust as I sit in honking, honking, honking traffic jams in Bangalore. (Horn OK Please!) I am so ready to eat masala dosa at Samrat, gobi manchurian at Alampur, and then pig out a couple of times at MTR. Obviously, I will eat well in Bangalore. It's the other places that always pose a challenge!
I hope you will all stay tuned to the exciting adventures of Susiestheboss in India, tour 7, Saath Tour, yaars!
Have a lovely day!

Sunday, December 13, 2009


I hope you will enjoy these two holiday favorites of mine....have an awesome day!

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Happy Sunday!

Getting just ever so slightly excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 04, 2009

I'm Mr Heat Blister

Something old but fun for you all! Enjoy!


Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Thursday Portrait

I had to get out of my car and swoosh these gals outa the road!

"You just wish you were me!"

These photos are from Thanksgiving weekend.
I pretty much live in heaven.
Have an awesome day.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me!

The rumours you may have heard are true.
Today is my birthday.....

Why, 29, of course! Thanks for asking.