Friday, April 28, 2006

55Flash Fiction Friday

Today I felt like writing two versions!

He lazes against the tree and gazes up at feet, tattoos and legs dangling. His mind races through cotton candy blossoms, cinnamon hair and sugar skin...that overall strap, undone again, slips from her sun warmed shoulder. Hungry eyes watch as apple touches parting lips, then meet an evil glance as the apple drops, aiming for his head.
(all the evil ideas in this 55 are from Logo)

In the grass below, black rubber farm boots abandoned. Above in the tree, feet and toes dangle. Overalls with one strap dangling, leaning back onto a branch. Gazing up into the blossoms, petals rain down. Sun warms her shoulders, she shines her apple and takes a bite, laughing as the juice runs down her chin.

I write about apples a lot......why don't you give it a try! Write a 55 word story with a plot and at least one character. You can write in my comments or at your blog! Let me know you played, and have fun!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Flashback HNT!
Someone gave me an old scanner a couple of months ago, and I never got around to hooking it up....until today when I really really needed a picture scanned for my Hijacked HNT post this week. I didnt really think it was going to work, but I could NOT go out to the store to get it scanned with my eyes all red and scary looking, could I? (yes I still look like that!)
It was one of those rare moments when hookup took 30 seconds and, voila! I have a scanner now!
Anyway, now the possibilites are endless, and so today, I present to you, my dear HNT friends, Susie a long long time ago, young, wild, half~ nekkid, and so very free......

By the way, I am still very free! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
Happy HNT everyone!

OMFG, Mr Ratburn looks like carrot top!

Wonder what those Hijackers are up to this week?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The Idiot and Barefoots Official Weekly Tropical Top Five #4

behind crystalline irises
loons can drive where the world bleeds white
just keep your eyes on her
don't look away
keep your eyes on her horizon....Tori Amos

Welcome to Week 4 of our game! This weeks Official Weekly Tropical Top Five category is:

Eye Songs

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes by The Platters
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
I Only Have Eyes for You performed by Art Garfunkel
Bush Doctor by Peter Tosh
Eyes Without A Face by Billy Idol

Have fun making your own list, either in the comments or on your own blog! Let
The Idiot or Barefoot know that you played, and thanks for stopping by! : P

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The lovely feet of Kamala, a Bharat Natyam dancer and friend o' mine.

Where'd you put the keys girl......

never was a cornflake girl
thought that was a good solution
hangin with the raisin girls
she's gone to the other side
givin us a yo heave ho
things are getting kind of gross
and i go at sleepy time
this is not really happening
you bet your life it is
peel out the watchword
just peel out the watchword
she knows what's going on
seems we got a cheaper feel now
all the sweeteaze are gone
gone to the other side
with my encyclopedia
they musta paid her a nice price
she's puttin on her string bean love
this is not really happening
you bet your life it is
rabbit where'd you put the keys girl
and the man with the golden gun
thinks he knows so much
thinks he knows so much
rabbit where'd you put the keys girl

The first time I ever saw Tori perform Cornflake Girl live, I thought the roof was gonna blow!

Tori Amos talks about her song Cornflake Girl, from her 1994 release, Under The Pink:

"I read the Alice Walker book, Possessing the Secret of Joy, and there's umm, in that book, the mothers take the daughters to the butchers to have their, let's say their genitalia removed. And even though it's a patriarchal culture that she's talking about, and that this custom was put into practice a long, long time ago by the patriarchy, it's the mothers that take their daughters. And, what I was singing about was, it's funny how from generation to generation women really betray each other in the ladies' room. There is a whole secret society that happens, and a lot of times a mother will say 'I'm doing this for your good' whether it was binding the feet in the Eastern cultures or whether it's marrying your daughter to this gangrene, smelly-breathed, old, decrepit, rotting scumbag that's 80 years old with dough. 'You know, this is really the best for you,' when the truth is, it's the best for everybody else. And, that's an extreme of women's relationships brought to just like, your girlfriend that you're hanging out with, but betrayal is betrayal, and I was thrown in to many situations as I was reading that book where girls, my girls, we were just dissin' each other. The things that we were doing, umm, it's like I would have never imagined that we could be so unsupportive of each other, and it was just happening while I was reading this book, and Cornflake Girl is the betrayal really of girls."-- Tori; 99X Radio Interview, 08/05/94


Where'd you put the keys, Giiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllll?

Sunday, April 23, 2006


Last week Little Rita came home from school with a raging case of pink eye. It was NOT there 4 hours earlier when I took her to school. So, doctor appt, money, money, money, fancy eye drops.....but the eye swelled up and took about 5 days to clear up. The doctor said it was only contagious for 24 hours after taking the eye drops.....
OK, so, how come its a week later, LR is totally better, and yesterday my right eye started itching me? nighttime it was red and swollen...and all night I had to pry my eye apart...and, ya know, ew!
This morning my eye is swollen totally shut. No way! Are you kidding? You do NOT get to see it! I would like you all to remember me as lovely as I usually am.
If this gets into my other eye, I will be blinded completely until it clears up. You know I've got amblyopia!
So, I had a thought, about our Hijackers and how we've all gotten a bit worn out from trying to maintain blogs, jobs, families, and secret private lives... LOL J/K......Logo has a nasty cold, Limes got major one handed typing issues, and me, well you can just call me One Eyed Sue, your pirate pal for a few more days...anyone got a patch and a parrot I can borrow?

(If I disappear completely, you will know it's because my "good eye" got the pink eye and i'll be a NO EYE for a couple days......Practicing for blindness?)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

55Flash Fiction Friday

Wendy O Williams

She raced to the kitchen for two small glass bowls. Minutes later, in front of her mirror, puzzling, attempting to ..did....she get...these things to....stay? She runs back to the kitchen and grabs the duct tape. Eat your heart out, Plasmatics, she thought and gave a little jiggle! Ready for HNT!

OK, leave me a 55 word fiction in my comments, or on your own blog, but let me know you've played! Have fun!
Artsy fartsy HNT

art by Little Rita

Yes, dahling, I do have a nose for art and I think this is just mahhvelous!

Mr Ratburn is dying to show you pics from his wild weekend without susiestheboss!

Be sure to check out my pals very first HNT at Sideways Again, stop by and wish him well!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Idiot and Barefoots Official Weekly Tropical Top Five #3

Rob: "Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing. " High Fidelity

Welcome to Week 3 of our game! This weeks Official Weekly Tropical Top Five category is:

Your Top 5 Rain Songs
Hmnnn, songs that make you want to play in the rain, sit at your window and watch the rain, read a good book while curled up on the couch listening to the rain, dance, kiss, or other things (hee hee), splash and play in the rain, or maybe just be glad that you are not out there getting wet right now songs! Have fun!

Africa by Toto
Red, Red Rain by Peter Gabriel
Rain o' Rama by Lord Kitchener (hi Lime!)
Wicked Rain by Los Lobos
Here Comes The Flood by Robert Fripp

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Got A Cloud Sleeping On My Tongue.....

Last Tuesday I posted this picture and an article about Tori and her Steve Madden shoe....

then in my comments Lily said,
"Cool! I wanna take my picture biting a shoe."
Oh mama! Check out The Circus, home of Laundry Woman and loads o' laughs!

Well that got me thinking.......

No on the icky dirty old bunny slipper? Ok ok wait! I'll come back later and try again!

Soon everyone wanted to do the Tori Shoe Biting Pose!

This is Aerik from The Chronicles of Chaos, and he's quite the Tori fan himself! Be sure to check out his Tori post today as well, and every week! He also writes about current events, music, film and all that dragony stuff too....(see how much I know about that dragony stuff?)

Little Rita and her favorite lime green beaded sandals. (Hey, looks like LR is slipping in to her monchromatic phase again!) She loves shoes as much as Tori does...I am dreading the day that she wears the same size shoe as I do.....

The lovely Logo and her luscious brown leather slingback. She has been inducted into the Tori listeners hall of fame for nearly six months now. She's such a good sport, she does whatever I ask, like this...because she wuvs me....:P thanks, H She's got sexy shoes, too!

Tommy and his effervescent walking shoe. Such a good team player. Tommy, are those shoes washable? I am not so familiar with Tommys musical interests but since he posed for me, I'm sending him some Tori this week! Thanks, Tommy! Check out his blog Tommy Gunn's "Dark Side of the Room"
and hurry, if you go there now, you'll get to see Tommy giving the finger!

Well then, Snavs, our lovely dancer joins the fun with her toe shoes! Snavs has also become a Tori fan since I came into her life and corrupted her. Her blog is called Snav's World, and when she's not chasing the twins down or dealing with some other crazy adventure her kids have gotten into, you can find her there.

Why did we do this, you may ask? Do we really need a reason? Sometimes it's just fun to be silly is all! Happy Tori Tuesday everyone! Hey, I got a new profile picture out of this silly adventure so....
Happy Tori Tuesday, everybody!

For those of you that now just have to have a photo session with your favorite shoe, I'm still taking submissions for future postings...hee hee

Monday, April 17, 2006

Little Rita Reviews Susiestheboss New Super Stylee!

Mr Ratburn is out of town so Little Rita and I did the Easter egg hunt thing today and then went on an outdoor adventure. Later on, I asked her opinion on my new blog design and here is what she said:

S: Happy Easter Little Rita, did you get some good stuff today?

LR: Yeah

S: Got any chocolate?

LR: Of course..

S: Hand it over then!

Hey! this is a marble egg sculpture, I got ripped off here!

Hey mom! I noticed your blog is ugly now, what happened?
Did it explode?

S: Uh, thanks, Little Rita, that's my new blog design. I really wanted to get rid of the pink because I'm not really into pink as you know.

LR: I hated the pink too, but I dont like the white either....

S: Well then, do you like my new profile picture?

LR: Uh! That is like the worst picture I ever saw. Who would like to put a shoe in their mouth?Not me!

S: But you did for......

LR: Yeah, but I was forced to....

I wish you woulda made it yellow, it would look much better.

S: LR, What do you think about my thank you joke?

...but most of all i would ike to thank Charles for repeatedly climbing in my sock drawer and taking a piss.

LR: I dont get it, mommy.

S: Do you like my Easter posts, LR?

LR: Whatever!

S: Do you have anything to say to my 5 readers to wish them a Happy Easter?

LR: Please dont read my moms posts they're very boring.

S: Ok, Little Rita, what do you think about my 55 fiction?

LR: Uh I think it's stupid. I think Jeff shouldn't treat a lady like that.
(hear that guys, never bump a lady off of your bicycle)

S: Last week I did a really special HNT for your dads and my anniversary. What do you think of those pictures of me?

LR: Ew gross!!

S: Is there anything you'd like to add or suggest?

LR: Go away and leave me alone!

S: Come on, Little Rita!

LR: Uh, change the color.

S: Thank you for that input. Anything else?

LR: I'm eating my chocolate bunny I can't talk.

S: Which part of the bunny do you eat first, LR?

LR: The ears! Now stop interviewing me, i'm eating.

C'mon mom let's go, stop doing that blogs thing! It's dumb!

Erm, I hope you will all find my blog more to your liking!

Haha! No seriously, I would like to thank the lovely Snavs for helping me get rid of that damn pink background! It's kindof weird looking at my blog this way now, but i'll get used to it! Do you like it?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

...find those chocolate bunnies, hiding everywhere!

happy easter, joyous passover, glorious spring, bunny hopping!

Friday, April 14, 2006

55Friday Flash Fiction

They had both gone to Waller Street Elementary for 5 years, but Jeff had never offered her a ride home before. She said ok because her books were heavy.

Jeff rode faster, aiming toward a bump in the sidewalk.

He sped away, that icky feeling that began when she got on his bike, now gone.


If you like, please leave me a flash fiction story too, or post it on your blog! Happy Flash Friday every one!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Happy Anniversary HNT

I chose this weeks pictures for HNT because all three have my wedding rings in them. (Oh yeah, and I look sexy in them too!) Last Sunday Mr Ratburn and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. May I please have 18 more?

Happy Anniversary, Husband!

I find sometimes it's easy to be myself,

sometimes i find it's better to be somebody else.

~Dave Matthews

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Idiot and Barefoots Official Weekly Tropical Top Five #2

Welcome to week two of our game!
This weeks Official Weekly Tropical Top Five category is:


ah what is riding? we'll leave that up to you to define...seems we've got bikes, cowgirls, horses, cats and drugs (er, rabbits)...

Bicycle Race by Queen
Mustang Sally by Wilson Pickett
Horses by Tori Amos
Tommy the Cat by Primus
White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane

Now leave us your list in comments, or you can play at your blog too, if you want.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

I Never Was The Fantasy Of What you Want, Wanted Me To Be....

Playboy Mommy by Tori Amos

in my platforms
i hit the floor
fell face down
didn't help my brain out
then the baby came
before i found
the magic how
to keep her happy
i never was the fantasy
of what you want
wanted me to be
don't judge me so harsh little girl
so you got a playboy mommy
but when you tell them my name
from here to birmingham
i got a few friends
i never was there was there when it counts
i get my way
you're so like me
you seemed ashamed
ashamed that i was
a good friend of american soldiers
i'll say it loud here by your grave
those angels can'tever take my place
somewhere where the the orchids grow
i can't find those church bells
that played when you died
played gloria
talkin bout hosanah, yes
don't judge me so harsh little girl
you got a playboy mommy, come home
so when you tell them soldiers my name
you'll cross that bridge all on your own
little girl, they'll do you no harm
'cause they know your playboy mommy
i'll be home

i'll be home
to take you in my arms

Remember the Tori Amos Corset that I featured last Fall that was auctioned off to benefit the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance? (Yes, of course you do!) Well, Did you know there was also a Tori shoe? Yes there is, and it is fantastic! The Tori Amos shoe was designed to benefit RAINN, and is now a rare find indeed. If anyone has a pair in a size 7 that they would like to be rid of, I will gladly take them off your hands.

In 1999, Designer Steve Madden created a shoe called the "Tori Amos". 100% of the proceeds for this shoe went to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network).

Woo hoo! What a sexy shoe!

That's for sure, Tori loves her shoes! Happy Tori Tuesday everyone!

Susiji Makes Samosas

Today on susiestheboss, we have more delicious Indian food to make if you dare! And I've also got a shout out today for Logo over at It Really Is A Dog's Life, because she doesn't know what a samosa is. Idiot, please, take that girl out to lunch. Teach her the way!


1 pound potatoes
3/4 cup fresh or frozen peas
1 t. salt
1 t. ground cumin
1/2 t. chili powder
1 t. panch phora*
2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 recipe of pastry dough**

Prepare pastry and set aside while making the filling. Boil the potatoes, peel and dice. If using fresh peas, cook them until tender. Combine potatoes and peas with the salt, cumin, chili powder, panch phora and lemon juice. Roll out balls of pastry dough and place a tablespoonful of potato mixture onto the dough (or however much looks right to you.) Fold up dough making a triangle shape. Using a small bowl of water, wet fingers and seal the edges of the dough with fingers.
Deep fry in hot oil. Drain on absorbent paper towels and serve with Tamarind, Mint, Mango or other chutneys which can be made or store bought.

"Panch" means five in Hindi and Panch phora is a combination of five different aromatic seeds. These are used whole.

2 Tablespoons black mustard seed
2 T cumin seed
2 T black cumin seed
1 T fenugreek seed
1 T fennel seed

Put into a glass jar with a tight fitting lid, shake before use.


1 1/2 cups plain flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 Tablespoon ghee or oil
1/2 cup warm water

Sift flour and salt into a bowl, lightly rub in ghee or oil, add warm water and mix until ingredients are combined and the dough comes away from the side of the bowl. Add a little more water if necessary. Knead firmly for 10 minutes or until dough is smooth and elastic. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside while preparing filling for at least 30 minutes.

Now i'll bet you all want me to tell you how to make chutneys for spooning onto your samosas, right? Well, I usually buy mine in the Indian food store, but you can make yours if you want to!
Remember betas, hot oil is dangerous, and, you don't want to end up with a giant scar on your arm like Susiji!

Hampi, Karnataka

Thursday, April 06, 2006

55Fridays Flash Fiction

OK people its Friday, let's see what you've got! In 55 words, write a story with a decipherable plot and at least one main character.......

River of Tears by Karen Godfrey

Most of the time she wore a smile bright enough to light up a village. Today was not the same. Sadness overflowed from heart to mind until she was forced to get the raft from her hall closet and blow it up, so she could keep from drowning in her tears. A table floated by.

Let's have it, loves! 55 words!
Fairy Tale HNT

...alas, Snow White did she fall on a bed of sodden ground that moment when poison meets apple meets lips....

When will the lips of Snow White's heroic prince charming wake her from enchanted slumber?

What other fractured fairy tales hath HNT wrought over at Hijacked?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Idiot and Barefoots Official Weekly Tropical Top Five


"Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?"


As some of you might know, a few of us bloggers, namely the Hijackers, met in Yahoo's Trivia Madness! I have known The Village Idiot about the longest, I think.....more than 4 years. One of the silly things we used to do in PM box while waiting for Trivia Madness to pick up was to play that Five Desert Island songs know the one, you pick 5 songs that you MUST have with you if stranded on a deserted island...with your IPOD or CD Player with a lifetime supply of batteries....
So this week The Idiot and I would like to introduce to you The Idiot and Barefoots Official Weekly Tropical Top Five Game.
Do you think we are going to make this easy on you? That's right, we are not! What we will have are different categories......and then you will list, either on your blog, or in comments, your top five songs that fit that category, and let us know if you played.
This weeks category, which is one of my favorites from the long list that we've compiled over the years, is called:

"Top 5 Songs to Have on your Ipod While Cruising Hot Babes in the Freezer Section of the Grocery Store"

Icicle by Tori Amos
Cold Ethel by Alice Cooper
Popsicle Toes by Michael Franks
Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground

Ice Cream Love by Kwame Mark & the Kushite Raiders

( I did not make this song up, and you can't either!)

So now let's have your list!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

When We Make Our Passion Pictures......

"Hey! What's going on here?"

"Hi Tori, it's me, Dave!"

So this week I decided that I would talk about some other music besides that of Tori Amos. Are you shocked? Well, it's because I have been listening to this CD 3 or 4 times a day for the past month, and it's so good, I just have to share it with you. I sure hope Tori doesn't mind!

Crash by The Dave Matthews Band has really gotten my attention.
Ok, I know it came out in 1995 0r 1996, but it's still fresh, tasty, (yes, I dare say tasty) and incredibly sexy, I might add. Certain songs just make me wanna wait, I can't say, make me just...oh forget it, go listen to Two Step and Say Goodbye and tell me you don't wanna take Dave Matthews into some dark room somewhere and forget about everything else for awhile.

By Dave Matthews

Say, my love, I came to you with best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what I'm seeking
Love, you drive me to distraction
Hey my love do you believe that we might last a thousand years
or more if not for this,our flesh and blood
It ties you and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will

Because life is short but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
These things we cannot change
change...oh, I want to change it
Hey, my love, you came to me like wine

comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and you quench my mind
Celebrate we will

Because life is short but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
The things we cannot
Celebrate, you and me, climbing two by two, to be sure
these days continue, things we cannot change
Oh, my love I came to you

with best intentions
You laid down and gave to me
just what I'm seeking
Celebrate we will

Because life is shortbut sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
Things we cannot change...Things we cannot change

Stuff about The Dave Matthews Band~The Dave Matthews Band formed in Charlottesville, Virginia, in early 1991, when vocalist/guitarist Dave Matthews decided to put some songs he had written on tape. Instead of simply recording himself with a guitar, he opted to bring in some instrumental help to give his musical ideas more depth. Dave found assistance in drummer Carter Beauford and saxophonist LeRoi Moore, who were both accomplished jazz musicians in the local Charlottesville music scene. Based on the recommendation of distinguished local jazz guru John D’earth, 16-year-old musical prodigy Stefan Lessard came on board to play bass. Completing the band was keyboard player Peter Griesar, who left the band after a couple of years, as well as the talented and classically trained violinist, Boyd Tinsley.The first official gig for the newly conceived Dave Matthews Band was May 11, 1991, at a private rooftop party in Charlottesville. Its first public show was at the city’s 1991 Earth Day Festival. Local weekly gigs soon followed, and within a little time, word of the band’s contagious new sound spread like wildfire throughout the region. Clubs started to fill up, tours began to cover more territory, and the fan base grew at an incredible rate..........

Hello?? Excuuuse me??
Uh huh, yeah, and now he has lots of releases, that are all just so fantastic. Yeah yeah, sure, we love Dave, now move over! This is MY day! It's Tori Tuesday, remember? I have some news too, so move over, Dave!

I just wanna say that Susie has just bought a new fresh stack of empty cds and will be making some Tori for all of you soon. Please send mailing addresses. Happy Tori Tuesday everyone!