Try Saying

To all employees:It has been brought to the managements attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to the complaints received from some employees who may easily be offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of " TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

Instead of saying:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
Try saying
Perhaps I can work late.

Instead of saying
No fucking way
Try saying
I'm certain that isn't feasible

Instead of saying
You've got to be shitting me!
Try saying
Really?

Instead of saying
Tell someone who gives a shit.
Try saying
Perhaps you should check with...

Instead of saying
Ask me if I give a shit.
Try saying
Of course I'm concerned.

Instead of saying
It's not my fucking problem.
Try saying
I wasn't involved.

Instead of saying
What the fuck?
Try saying
That's interesting.

Instead of saying
This shit won't work.
Try saying
I'm not sure that this can be implemented.

Instead of saying
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
Try saying
I'll try to schedule that.

Instead of saying
Who the hell cares?
Try saying
Are you sure this is a problem?

Instead of saying
He's got his head up his ass.
Try saying
He's not familiar with the issues.

Instead of saying
Eat shit and die.
Try saying
Excuse me, sir?

Instead of saying
Kiss my ass.
Try saying
So you weren't happy with it?

Instead of saying
Fuck it, I'm on salary.
Try saying
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

Instead of saying
Shove it up your ass.
Try saying
I don't think you understand.

Instead of saying
This job sucks.
Try saying
I love a challenge.

Instead of saying
Who the hell died and made you boss?
Try saying
You want me to take care of that?

Instead of saying
Blow me!
Try saying
I see

Instead of saying
Another fucking meeting!
Try saying
Yes, we really should discuss it.

Instead of saying
I really don't give a shit.
Try saying
I don't think this will be a problem.

Instead of saying
He's a prick
Try saying
He's somewhat insensitive

Instead of saying
She's a ball-busting bitch.
Try saying
She's an aggressive go-getter.

Instead of saying
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Try saying
I think you could use more training.

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